Hi ahart1972.
Welcome. I'm sorry you are going through all this. It's so hard.
A book a lot of us start with is Stop Walking on Eggshells. It's a great place to start, and very validating. Have you already discovered that one?
As for healing, "space" from your sister will help, and not getting sucked into her drama. Also doing things to take care of yourself. Do you have access to counselling support? A lot of us here have found that helpful - but it's most helpful if it is a T who actually has experience with "BPD".
Welcome
