Hi There...
I had had a GF with BPD. Although now relationship is over as she left me. But somehow I am managing to forget her. Also, I am reading literature on BPD such as Sometimes I act crazy, I hate you...Don't leave me and Stop Walking on Eggshells. Your kind suggestions will be helpful.
Welcome to the fam.

I know it is not easy coming here. However, you picked a phenomenal resource for solace and education to heal. Take some time and check out our site. There is plenty of very helpful information at your disposal.
Engage with the community. Ask as many questions as you need to. Share as much as you want to, but I would say to provide the community with a bit more to go on so you receive better overall responses and prompt more engagement from other members.
In the meantime please be kind to you and please take care of yourself.
Cheers and Best Wishes!
-SC-