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Author Topic: I’m trying to learn  (Read 968 times)
cap1987

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: broke up
Posts: 8


« on: July 16, 2023, 06:15:53 PM »

In my case since my ex wbpd monkey branch back to her ex.
She has charm me twice now the first one was that she love me so much and the 2nd one she was trying  to either get sympathy and further attack me but from what I have read when they get a replacement your non existing to them or is this just testing the waters, what drive them to do this and why continue the devaluing stage if they have already move on
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Augustine
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 142



« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2023, 06:29:37 PM »

In my case since my ex wbpd monkey branch back to her ex.
She has charm me twice now the first one was that she love me so much and the 2nd one she was trying  to either get sympathy and further attack me but from what I have read when they get a replacement your non existing to them or is this just testing the waters, what drive them to do this and why continue the devaluing stage if they have already move on


BPD fear abandonment, so she might consider you a safe fallback position in the event her needs cannot be met elsewhere.

You cannot place any emphasis on what they say; you can only assesses their behaviour. 

If the behaviour is odd/inconsistent, don’t bother putting yourself through more turmoil, and it sounds as if she’s run you through the wringer a time or two already.
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cap1987

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: broke up
Posts: 8


« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2023, 06:41:11 PM »

Oh she has from her behavior she acted like I was nothing and didn’t care but needed to reach out to me . But your right because supposedly. She engaged now so i guess she need to see if she had a fall back when she get cold feet so I can see how that can play unto her fear of abandonment
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Collaguazo

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 48


« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2023, 05:03:57 PM »

Fear of abandonment, testing if she still have control over you and have some leverage with her partner.

Don’t be surprised if she is threatening him by saying that she is still in touch with you, maybe show him a couple of “good” messages as proof.

My ex did this with me several times while I was with her. I think it’s better to just avoid any further interactions because it’s impossible to know their true intentions.

It’s hard and painful to stay no contact but I think it’s for the best.

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cap1987

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: broke up
Posts: 8


« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2023, 06:18:00 PM »

I get it yea I don’t want no contact with her I even told her that. It just had me confused because most people wouldn’t even talk to the person they left for someone else you know but I can see how she try to gauge how much control she has it’s just weird to me I thought I might be the special one where they just never contact you again but nope Laugh out loud (click to insert in post) thank for commenting
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SinisterComplex
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken Up
Posts: 1325



« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2023, 11:47:37 PM »

Is/Was she diagnosed? Or are guessing based on behavior?

Cheers and Best Wishes!

-SC-
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Through Adversity There is Redemption!
cap1987

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: broke up
Posts: 8


« Reply #6 on: July 19, 2023, 06:00:47 AM »

She was diagnosed with bpd and bi polar
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