ending relationship

[Depression = 72% of members]

My partner and I have been on and off for three years. We have been officially committed to one another for the past 9 months. We do not live together. He also struggled with substance abuse in the past. This summer I left to study at university and the distance between us triggered his paranoia. It was a side to him I had seen before, but not to this level. I had to cut off communication. Now I am back and in contact. I don't know what my next move is. I love him and worked really hard to make this work. But I am hurting from the summer. I'm not sure he is willing to go through treatment or what that would look like on the other side. I know that taking time for me is the best thing I can do for myself. I guess I'm looking for support and empathy as my close friends and family cannot understand because they exclusively see the bad.

[bellacola]

My partner and I have been on and off for three years. We have been officially committed to one another for the past 9 months. We do not live together. He also struggled with substance abuse in the past. This summer I left to study at university and the distance between us triggered his paranoia. It was a side to him I had seen before, but not to this level. I had to cut off communication. Now I am back and in contact. I don't know what my next move is. I love him and worked really hard to make this work. But I am hurting from the summer. I'm not sure he is willing to go through treatment or what that would look like on the other side. I know that taking time for me is the best thing I can do for myself. I guess I'm looking for support and empathy as my close friends and family cannot understand because they exclusively see the bad.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi Bella cola ,

. :

I'd like to welcome you to the family.  I'm sorry for the circumstances that led you to our forum.

How was their reaction to the news that you were going to uni?

Was this something that they were aware of for a long time?

What was their reaction to being cut off and getting back in contact?

Are the diagnosed with BPD?