Looking for support

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Long story short... Was going through a divorce when I ended up in a whirlwind relationship w/ a BPD. I know it is my fault that I didn't take the necessary precautions, take things slow, etc., but I became intoxicated w/ her and the nonstop idealizing.

I broke it off a couple of times but always came back, like an addict needing his drug. Now we are engaged and she has moved in w/ her kid for the past couple of months and I know I need to end this now. I have made up my mind. Enough time has passed in the last 3 years that I know I will be just fine without her.

The question is how do I safely get her out of the house? My plan is to do it one week from today. Her kid will be staying w/ his father at this time so he won't have to witness the explosion. I plan to do it in text while I'm at work and then talk about things when I get home. I wouldn't do it this way w/ a non-BPD but I feel it will help manage her anger since she will have time to process it. The plan is to not escalate emotions. No blaming, not hurtful comments, no getting caught up in the drama, just a simple "This is not working for me anymore. I don't want to be in this relationship." I'll give some reasons but do so in a very gentle/calm way.

So any advice? Anybody ever do this before? I'm so mad at myself for allowing it to get to the point where we are both under the same roof. I knew better but my emotions got the best of me. Thank you for reading this.

[Goodpal]

Long story short... Was going through a divorce when I ended up in a whirlwind relationship w/ a BPD. I know it is my fault that I didn't take the necessary precautions, take things slow, etc., but I became intoxicated w/ her and the nonstop idealizing.

I broke it off a couple of times but always came back, like an addict needing his drug. Now we are engaged and she has moved in w/ her kid for the past couple of months and I know I need to end this now. I have made up my mind. Enough time has passed in the last 3 years that I know I will be just fine without her.

The question is how do I safely get her out of the house? My plan is to do it one week from today. Her kid will be staying w/ his father at this time so he won't have to witness the explosion. I plan to do it in text while I'm at work and then talk about things when I get home. I wouldn't do it this way w/ a non-BPD but I feel it will help manage her anger since she will have time to process it. The plan is to not escalate emotions. No blaming, not hurtful comments, no getting caught up in the drama, just a simple "This is not working for me anymore. I don't want to be in this relationship." I'll give some reasons but do so in a very gentle/calm way.

So any advice? Anybody ever do this before? I'm so mad at myself for allowing it to get to the point where we are both under the same roof. I knew better but my emotions got the best of me. Thank you for reading this.