Hi Ollypaw and welcome to the boards
There are many grandparents here in similar situations, so you are definitely not alone.
I’m here because I have severed ties with my daughter. She has never be diagnosed with anything because she feels nothing is wrong with her and that everyone else is at fault. For a long time(20 plus years)I have known she is a borderline. I have been emotionally abused for the last time by her.
What was the "turning point" -- did something specific happen?
My question is how do I possibly maintain my relationship with my granddaughter, who is 12?
My daughter has never been in a stable environment or a stable relationship. I had previously maintained my relationship with my daughter in order to have a relationship with my granddaughter.
How has your relationship with your GD12 been so far? Frequent contact, fairly positive...?
Does your GD12 have a phone of her own?
And do you know what school GD12 goes to?
...
Many pwBPD use their children more as objects to manage/control other relationships, rather than as unique individuals to be nurtured. It's a really painful part of having a pwBPD in your life who has children.
Are any of you in therapy/counseling at all? It can help to have a neutral professional providing support -- sometimes these situations are so beyond the norm that not all friends or family understand.
Keep us in the loop on how things are going;
kells76
