My daughter is 41

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hello,

I’m here because I have severed ties with my daughter. She has never be diagnosed with anything because she feels nothing is wrong with her and that everyone else is at fault. For a long time(20 plus years)I have known she is a borderline. I have been emotionally abused for the last time by her. I will no longer endure her abuse. My question is how do I possibly maintain my relationship with my granddaughter, who is 12?

My daughter has never been in a stable environment or a stable relationship. I had previously maintained my relationship with my daughter in order to have a relationship with my granddaughter.

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you

[Ollypaw]

Hello,

I’m here because I have severed ties with my daughter. She has never be diagnosed with anything because she feels nothing is wrong with her and that everyone else is at fault. For a long time(20 plus years)I have known she is a borderline. I have been emotionally abused for the last time by her. I will no longer endure her abuse. My question is how do I possibly maintain my relationship with my granddaughter, who is 12?

My daughter has never been in a stable environment or a stable relationship. I had previously maintained my relationship with my daughter in order to have a relationship with my granddaughter.

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[kells76]

Hi Ollypaw and welcome to the boards  There are many grandparents here in similar situations, so you are definitely not alone.

I’m here because I have severed ties with my daughter. She has never be diagnosed with anything because she feels nothing is wrong with her and that everyone else is at fault. For a long time(20 plus years)I have known she is a borderline. I have been emotionally abused for the last time by her.

What was the "turning point" -- did something specific happen?

My question is how do I possibly maintain my relationship with my granddaughter, who is 12?

My daughter has never been in a stable environment or a stable relationship. I had previously maintained my relationship with my daughter in order to have a relationship with my granddaughter.

How has your relationship with your GD12 been so far? Frequent contact, fairly positive...?

Does your GD12 have a phone of her own?

And do you know what school GD12 goes to?

...

Many pwBPD use their children more as objects to manage/control other relationships, rather than as unique individuals to be nurtured. It's a really painful part of having a pwBPD in your life who has children.

Are any of you in therapy/counseling at all? It can help to have a neutral professional providing support -- sometimes these situations are so beyond the norm that not all friends or family understand.

Keep us in the loop on how things are going;

kells76