Constantly seeking attention but seldom meeting

[Remainedbehind]

What does it mean when a pwBPD is constantly seeking attention, sending +50 messages daily, sometimes completely random, like a restaurant she has seen online, an idea she has, pictures of her leg in the bathtub, her boss who called her, … this already goes on for almost a year on a nearly daily basis. It can be that I answer something, that the next text arrives a few hours or even a few days later. When I don’t look for contact for a few days she will send again. Whenever she is drunk I get phone calls from her, when she is sober and texts she does not pick up my phone when it’s a topic that might be more suitable to do by voice call.
When I want to meet her, or she me, plans can change last minute for whatever reason. Sometimes you get a happy, flirty in front of you, sometimes a big ego devaluating you, sometimes the rear of a cell phone, after she told her mom and friends who know me that we meet up. It happens a lot that she invites me and cancels last minute. She makes very promising proposals to later lower the expectations to then completely finish it. It feels to me that within the safety of online communication she feels good, but that calling or meeting are too intimate and that she is afraid of that. Her behavior to me is close to FP but without meeting to often (about once every 6 weeks).

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[kells76]

Could mean a lot of things -- probably at some level, it's about whatever is going on inside of her, and her trying to get her impossibly deep emotional needs met, while coping with wildly varying and often harmfully intense emotions.

If BPD is involved, then a key part of the acronym to remember is that it's Borderline Personality Disorder -- so the ways pwBPD try to get their needs met won't necessarily "make sense" (disordered thinking).

A big question for you would be -- no matter why she does what she does, are you OK with having that kind of behavior in your life? You're in the driver's seat for what you choose to let in.