Hi guys. Me and my BPD ex broke up about 3 months ago now. She is a untreated BPD, She has been seeing a psychiatrist for over a year, and told me one day when she came home that they believe she has a personalitiy disorder. After the break up i started to go to therapy myself because my head was all over the place, and she also told me that it sounds like my ex partner has BPD, after i told her about our relationship. Keep im mind when i was telling the story i was not trying to be biased but i understand that it will be when im telling my side of the story. We been togheter for 4 years.
Reason for the breakup :
I was not giving her enough attention
i was not helping her enough around the house (but i was paying for everyting, and i mean everything)
I was to much with my family and friends ( I always tried to include her in my family and friends, but she never liked them)
My sleep schedule was not compatible with hers, this she did not like at all, that i was working at night and she in the morning.
Keep in mind that none of these bulletpoints above was a problem before, she did not have a problem with any of these points for 3 years.
I can tell a little about myself. I work from home and have a high income job, the only reason i am mentioning it, is because i was paying for everyting in the relationship, rent,food,vacations, family troubles from her side.
Right before we broke up she told me that all the tings i have listed above where to much for her, and that she did not want to break up with me but felt that she did not have a choice. And that she was nothing without me. She mentioned going to couples therapy, and i was willing to go, but as time passed she was interesed in going herself anymore. The breakup happened and we argued back and forward until finally i kicked her out of my apartments, i just could no take it anymore. She was going to dates with a guy while we where staying togheter under the same roof. She told me they where only friends but in our 4 year long relationship we never had guy and girl friends, so it was very hard for me to believe. She went on dates with this guy only to get a reaction out of me, the last week before i threw her out, I did not recognize the person at all anymore. The partner i remember was completely gone. I was afraid for her safety so i even called her mom to tell her i was afraid for her safety. But she flipped it around, and told me i was trying to put her in a bad light, which was not my intention.
3 days after i kicked her out, I was out with my friends and saw that she had posted a picture of her guy friend drinking wine togheter, she told me they where only friends, but i did not belive that OFC. I was heart broken. The same night one of her best friends tried to hook up with me and it was so tempting to get revenge on her. but i stayed away and rejected her, even dough i was drunk and hearbroken, after i saw the post she had posted.
a month went by with no contact, i was starting to go on dates, with other girls, and suddenly my phone rang, it was her she said she only wanted to talk, i called her back a couple of days later and we had decent conversation about our problems, and what we felt went wrong in the realtionship. For me at least it was a good conversation. But a couple of days later she told me that she was super sad after our conversation, because i told her some bad things she had done. I told her that i did not like that se tried to distance me from my family, becaue she was always jealous if my close bond with my sisters and mother.
another month went by, we stayed no contact, but she sent me messages because she was getting surgery and told me about it.
During our relationship she was always super jealous of my bestfriends sister. Because we went on a date 10 years back as a joke on my friend. I told her that i would never do anything with that girl, that she had nothing to fear. Sometimes when i was hanging out with my friend and his family she would be there, and my ex would always be jealous. I told her that i am not there to hang out with her, and if she comes to her own family dinner, that that is out of my control. I would never contact her to hang out or anything like that.
The reason im telling the story is becuase 2 months after the break up i ended up sleeping with her. And i told her after that we had to keep it a secret because i did not want it to go out, because it would hurt my ex feelings, even dough i felt that she did not deserve it. But i just did not want anymore drama beetween us.
OFC a couple of weeks later she found out and broke down in tears, even dough she is my ex and we where not togheter and 3 months has passed by i do not want to deliberately hurt someone else feelings, even after what she done to me. The smear campaigns, the making me jealous on purpose, acting like i would hurt her physically something I would never and have never done to man or woman in my life. I found out she knew because her best friends called me and told me she was very sad after she heared that i was with another girl and because it was that specific girl.
She texed me the day after told me that she wanted to admit her wrong doings after the break and before. and wanted us to be friends. I did not answer her text, and she started to contact my friends and asked them if they could tell me to answer my messages. So i did and called her. We talked for 1 hour, and she used the whole time talking about how much of a hoe the girl i slept with is, and was extremely jealous, She told me that she did not do anything sexual with that guy she went on dates with. But i told her that we are not togheter anymore and that is none of my business. She wanted us to meetup but i refused. And the day afte she blocked me on everything.
The reason im telling this story is because i still dont know what her intentions where, did she want to meetup with me to get back togheter. or just to manipulate and gaslight me some more. I do admit that i still love her, and dont know what her intentions where. Thanks for the answers im going to get.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL
