>I don't know how to cope with my sister and my studies at the same time

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Hi, first time posting as I have nowhere else to turn to and this seems like a safe space!

 I am a student with a sister (a year younger than me) who I think has BPD as she fits many of the symptoms I’ve researched online. My life feels like a whirlwind right now as my sister’s destructive behaviour causes a lot of arguments in my family. Usually I'm the peacemaker trying to resolve my family’s troubles which is taking a huge toll on me. My sister gets angry outbursts frequently which results on my family and I having to walk on eggshells whenever we’re around her. She's currently seeing a psychologist but it hasn't really been helping since she ignores a lot of the advice given to her. I always try to understand her POV but it gets frustrating having to cater to everything she needs.

Since my exams are coming up I’ve been studying in my room most of the time since I get distracted very easily. My sister likes to barge in my room and watch videos as I'm studying just to rile me up. When she wants something from me that I had declined, she will steal something I need for school, like my wallet or textbooks, and hide it away and lock herself in her room till she gets what she wants. Its almost become too much to bear for me at this point and I don't know what to do anymore. Me and my sister get along quite well when she isn't triggered and I do still love her. We've both had pretty traumatic childhoods which may have led our current mental health problems (both diagnosed with depression and GAD).

I'm just looking for some advice, if any, on my situation. Thanks in advance.

[Kazu1009]

Hi, first time posting as I have nowhere else to turn to and this seems like a safe space!

 I am a student with a sister (a year younger than me) who I think has BPD as she fits many of the symptoms I’ve researched online. My life feels like a whirlwind right now as my sister’s destructive behaviour causes a lot of arguments in my family. Usually I'm the peacemaker trying to resolve my family’s troubles which is taking a huge toll on me. My sister gets angry outbursts frequently which results on my family and I having to walk on eggshells whenever we’re around her. She's currently seeing a psychologist but it hasn't really been helping since she ignores a lot of the advice given to her. I always try to understand her POV but it gets frustrating having to cater to everything she needs.

Since my exams are coming up I’ve been studying in my room most of the time since I get distracted very easily. My sister likes to barge in my room and watch videos as I'm studying just to rile me up. When she wants something from me that I had declined, she will steal something I need for school, like my wallet or textbooks, and hide it away and lock herself in her room till she gets what she wants. Its almost become too much to bear for me at this point and I don't know what to do anymore. Me and my sister get along quite well when she isn't triggered and I do still love her. We've both had pretty traumatic childhoods which may have led our current mental health problems (both diagnosed with depression and GAD).

I'm just looking for some advice, if any, on my situation. Thanks in advance.

[CC43]

Kazu,

You seem like a wonderful sister, trying to understand why your sister acts the way she does. That shows a lot of empathy and maturity. It must be hard to walk on eggshells all the time and try to prevent her outbursts and meltdowns.

I know what it’s like to live with someone with BPD, and how they can take your things in search of attention, or to hurt you intentionally.

But right now, you need to focus on you. Exams are important. My advice would be to camp out at a library. Surely you can find one that stays open late. I doubt your sister would follow you to a library. Usually libraries are quiet, and you can find an area without many distractions.

[js friend]

Hi Kazu.

Where I live there are workspaces in buidings that people can hire by the hour to study or hold meetings. Im sure if you look them up there will be one near to you as they have become very popular. Another thought  is to put a lock on your bedroom door if your parents are in agreement with this.