BPDEXGF emails

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

This is what I deal with daily several times per day. I am only posting this because I now understand what is meant by some of the posts from others how your BPDex tries to manipulate and come across as defenseless and sweet to draw you back in.

Let me add before I include parts of this email written by her that she and I had a conversation almost a week ago about a woman that she was befriending on google groups and how she decided not to be her friend because the woman was from her home state and that could spell trouble for her in the end.

It seems to me that she is reaching out to me daily now that this woman is not in the picture. I suspect these emails won't continue once she clutches someone new in her claws.  Before you ask, I did NOT RESPOND to the email. I am sure that when I see her or she texts me she is going to ask if I read it. I will tell her I did and try to change the subject which is something she was very good at while we were in the relationship when we would have candid conversations that required her to validate ME!

Here is what she wrote:

I miss you being MINE and me being YOURS

I miss holding your hand

I miss you showing me your love and affection

I miss the "special things" that only you and I use to do together... .I miss that so much

I miss being an important priority in your life

I miss all the little ways you made me feel special and SHOWED me I was special to you


I feel so disappointed... .in God... .in life. It's like the universe DOES NOT want me to be happy and makes sure that I never am, no matter what I do. I feel like no one good and decent will ever want me. I wish I was never born! Maybe I'll pray to get terminal cancer


You SEE THAT LAST LINE? TOTAL MANIPULATION TO GET ME TO RESPOND! I WON'T because I am USE to hearing stuff like this from her!

[AnnaBlue917]

This is what I deal with daily several times per day. I am only posting this because I now understand what is meant by some of the posts from others how your BPDex tries to manipulate and come across as defenseless and sweet to draw you back in.

Let me add before I include parts of this email written by her that she and I had a conversation almost a week ago about a woman that she was befriending on google groups and how she decided not to be her friend because the woman was from her home state and that could spell trouble for her in the end.

It seems to me that she is reaching out to me daily now that this woman is not in the picture. I suspect these emails won't continue once she clutches someone new in her claws.  Before you ask, I did NOT RESPOND to the email. I am sure that when I see her or she texts me she is going to ask if I read it. I will tell her I did and try to change the subject which is something she was very good at while we were in the relationship when we would have candid conversations that required her to validate ME!

Here is what she wrote:

I miss you being MINE and me being YOURS

I miss holding your hand

I miss you showing me your love and affection

I miss the "special things" that only you and I use to do together... .I miss that so much

I miss being an important priority in your life

I miss all the little ways you made me feel special and SHOWED me I was special to you


I feel so disappointed... .in God... .in life. It's like the universe DOES NOT want me to be happy and makes sure that I never am, no matter what I do. I feel like no one good and decent will ever want me. I wish I was never born! Maybe I'll pray to get terminal cancer


You SEE THAT LAST LINE? TOTAL MANIPULATION TO GET ME TO RESPOND! I WON'T because I am USE to hearing stuff like this from her!

[OnceConfused]

I feel so disappointed... .in God... .in life. It's like the universe DOES NOT want me to be happy and makes sure that I never am, no matter what I do. I feel like no one good and decent will ever want me. I wish I was never born! Maybe I'll pray to get terminal cancer

what a way of provoking guilt out of you. SHe is trying to put the blame on you about her predicaments (whatever the predicaments were).

Just remember:

IT IS VERY EASY TO FALL IN LOVE, BUT IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO STAY IN LOVE.

A good book to read about this is the five love languages by dr gary champman.

Falling in love is all about US, but staying in love is all about doing for others. I have learned that to be happy in the long run, the other person has to focus about doing things to make me happy and I do the same in return. If the other person does not focus on me on a consistent basis, I need not stay around.

[AnnaBlue917]

@Once Confused,

I almost fell for it but Thank God for this forum because this is how she would bait me everytime in the past! I'm just sick of it!

[Pretty Woman]

Anna Blue,

  That entire email is about HER and her needs. I don't see any "I'm sorry I treated you so poorly. You didn't deserve it".

Did you see that there? I didn't.


You are one smart cookie and I am glad you didn't respond. Likely she will amp up the contact attempts.

She WILL give up eventually... .esp if another target happens by. Wait it out my friend. You are doing great!

PW

[greenmonkey]

When I moved away in the months running up to it I got a new email address so I would not be subjected to her emails either of abuse or manipulation - It was quite possibly the best thing I did as she was using email to contact me.

If you do not want to change your email create a rule so they go straight into either trash or a separate folder so you don't have to read them.

Going no contact is very hard - I am 10 months out today and still being harassed and stalked and I have not broken no contact - I am so fed up but my my mental health has improved 100 fold.