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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: the 'accidental' text message  (Read 5717 times)
sarah1234
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« on: March 16, 2010, 04:00:21 PM »

My exbf is so low-f and plain stupid its got to be funny  Smiling (click to insert in post)

Just had my first text in over a week from him asking if I want 2 spare festival tickets (he knows I usually like to go to this festival every year)

followed up by 2 mins later 'oh sorry, sent it to the wrong person'

I wouldn't even give that the class of a re-engagement, its so transparent

But here we go again I suppose, back to being hounded by him I knew it wouldn't last long  
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seektruth
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« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2010, 04:23:16 PM »

Ugh, those infamous accidental texts, but gotta laugh because they ARE just soo transparent.  I had some where my ex 'accidentally' sent me texts that were meant for other women.  I swear they will try anything for a reaction!   Stay strong... .I'm sure there'll be more where these came from, unfortunately. 
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sarah1234
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« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2010, 04:29:21 PM »

what goes on in their brain that makes them think that something like that will get your attention and a response?

Thats when I realise he never actually knew me at all. If he did he would know I am laughing and saying 'do you think I am stupid?'
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seektruth
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« Reply #3 on: March 16, 2010, 04:43:37 PM »

Who knows what goes on in their brain?  You just have to accept it's just a part of their faulty wiring.  It's all about them so how you feel about the text really doesn't really mean anything to them.  The text is more about how it makes him feel in that moment more than anything.  He probably felt like he was in total control at that moment. He sends an offer then renegs it just like that by saying it was accidental.
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MxMan
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« Reply #4 on: March 16, 2010, 05:04:24 PM »

can you change your number or block his?
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sarah1234
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« Reply #5 on: March 16, 2010, 05:25:44 PM »

can you change your number or block his?

I already changed it once, and he found it from a mutual friend (who I do not think realised the situation)

In some ways I do not feel I ought to have to keep changing it, why the hell should I, and pay for it? But if it continues, I definately will. I have no fear of replying to it, I really hate him.

I actually lost my phone a couple of weeks ago and had to suspend the line. He was really having a crazy episode around that time, and I think he thought I had changed my number cos he was calling calling calling. I reactivated it a few days later when I got a new SIM card and this is the first time he has tried to text to it.

Can't block it from the phone handset, and I am in the UK. Lets just say that the phone companies are not exactly helpful or sympathetic.
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Tippy
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« Reply #6 on: March 17, 2010, 02:55:24 AM »

Sarah I am in the uk too, last week I had to block my ex as he was driving me crazy, I phoned vodafone and they cannot block from their side but the man told me to get the samsung tocco lite and it has a blocking system on it, the nice man in the shop set my phone up, then blocked the numbers on it and showed me how to block others if other calls come in.  I cannot tell you the relief I have had this week knowing he cannot get to me anymore... .there has been nothing, nadda, niente over the last 7 days... .its fabulous.  You can buy it from carphone warehouse, its about £70.  Just check it blocks texts too, my ex does not text but calls.  I also set up a barring system on my home phone, I am with talktalk and it was very simple. For the first time in18 months of constant re-engaging (whilst he is living with a girl), the barraging has stopped.  I am free and feel fantastic because I am in control now, he cannot come through to me anymore.  Go get it!
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SoMuchPain
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« Reply #7 on: March 17, 2010, 02:58:57 AM »

seriously ... .if texting could just cease to exist, i'd be a happy camper.  it's my ex's only method of re-engaging (so far ... .i always take the stupid bait).  her texts are so pointless too.  i have actually assumed that at some point i will get an "accidental" one.  ive gotten all the other kinds!  god i hate her and her stupid texts every 9 days.
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wayforward2day
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« Reply #8 on: March 17, 2010, 04:18:52 AM »

i got a text last week that was so random, there had been NC for weeks and then he just said 'I'm in pless' ? i googled it and its some place in Germany ! Weird... .he does things like that , he'll just go somewhere random. he is constantly checking out google earth!

i t never occurred to me that he would do that on purpose to see what i would do. but i never responded cos i didnt want to start up a dialogue
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2010
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« Reply #9 on: March 17, 2010, 05:16:56 AM »

Excerpt
Just had my first text in over a week from him asking if I want 2 spare festival tickets (he knows I usually like to go to this festival every year)

followed up by 2 mins later 'oh sorry, sent it to the wrong person'

OMG What an ASS! I'm so sorry that you had to read something like that- it's so wrong. Hopefully you can see how pathetic he is.

I think that these sort of "mistakes" aren't really "mistakes," they are choices... .and choosing to hurt you by holding something over you (the tickets) like a dangling carrot is really an abusive choice. 

Is it possible that you can buy your own tickets? Why not get your own- if the event is sold out try craigslist. That would really take the wind out of his sails.
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jalk
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« Reply #10 on: March 17, 2010, 08:11:24 AM »

Sarah... .what a joke huh?  I got a "inadvertently sent" package of her's on my porch. She said she "inadvertently" sent it to my house and can I leave it on the porch for her to pick up. She texted me the very NEXT DAY after the damn package arrived. You know what that means? She was tracking it. OMG! I'm tellin ya. Sometimes I wonder if all they do is think how they can try to manipulate us some more. She better get more creative than that because I sent the package back to sender the next day. Crap may have been broken inside too because I didn't handle it with care. It angered me. That should be the last time she does that... .she knows 1. She's not welcome on my porch 2. I will send it back to sender 3. When she gets her stuff... it may not be in great shape plus it took longer to get to her. Soo. Thats the way it goes. What a numbnut.
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Vincent
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« Reply #11 on: March 17, 2010, 08:29:38 AM »

My exbf is so low-f and plain stupid its got to be funny  Smiling (click to insert in post)

Just had my first text in over a week from him asking if I want 2 spare festival tickets (he knows I usually like to go to this festival every year)

followed up by 2 mins later 'oh sorry, sent it to the wrong person'

I wouldn't even give that the class of a re-engagement, its so transparent

But here we go again I suppose, back to being hounded by him I knew it wouldn't last long  

This reminds me an incident that occured while I was in the middle of the push/pull phase : my xBPDgf had invited me over to her appartment, and we had spent the whole evening holding hands etc... .

Comes the moment where I must leave. She is so sweet caring and loving. Lovingly helps me put on my coat and scarf etc... .

I get to my car, and one minute later I receive a text message mistakenly sent to me, saying (to her xbf) : " I can't wait for thursday to be in your arms. Truly. You are my angel and my love. I love you... .";

There, she calls me and asks me not to read what she just sent. Because it was not meant for me.

I confront her with the message, and she SNAPS ! Telling me that I really have a mental problem, that there is absolutely nothing between us and that I should go see a T to check for my mental sanity and have him get my feets on the ground.

5 days later she writes to me begging me to come back... .


Ahahah ! That's so ridiculous... .
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jalk
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« Reply #12 on: March 17, 2010, 08:39:52 AM »

Vincent... .your post... .   Aaaaghhhhh!   Just stick your finger in a light socket and it will achieve the same effect. Scrambled brains!
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left4good
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« Reply #13 on: March 17, 2010, 09:02:47 AM »

Holy crap!  Same type of stuff!  Random texts that 1) either make no sense at all  or 2) meant to provoke some sort of jealous angry response.   I get em constantly.  Since the split it's been the random stuff.  "I'm gonna lay down on my break,  I'm not feeling well."   Then the follow up,  "Sorry,  that wasn't yours."

When we were together I got the more crude stuff.

Oh and don't forget the perfectly timed random butt dials.  Strange how she actually has to open her phone,  unlock the keypad and then dial a number but it can do all of that on it's own from her purse.  And at the most convenient of times like when she was out with "friends" and I couldn't reach her,  her butt always seemed to get a hold of me!  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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SoMuchPain
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« Reply #14 on: March 17, 2010, 11:38:23 PM »

ya know what's funny and some fun little insight?

right before i went NC the first time, she knew it was coming.  she told me that if i ever really stopped talking to her, she'd wait a week or two and then do something really strange so that i thought of her.  i was like what?  she said, i don't know, maybe send u a tape in the mail, and it would just be me playing your favorite song on piano.

funny to look back on how she basically was telling me, "oh by the way, i'm insane, and when people stop contacting me, i decide to re-engagement them every 2 weeks or so just so they won't ever forget me".
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turtlesoup
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« Reply #15 on: March 19, 2010, 07:35:57 PM »

My exbf is so low-f and plain stupid its got to be funny  Smiling (click to insert in post)

Just had my first text in over a week from him asking if I want 2 spare festival tickets (he knows I usually like to go to this festival every year)

followed up by 2 mins later 'oh sorry, sent it to the wrong person'

I wouldn't even give that the class of a re-engagement, its so transparent

But here we go again I suppose, back to being hounded by him I knew it wouldn't last long  

This reminds me an incident that occured while I was in the middle of the push/pull phase : my xBPDgf had invited me over to her appartment, and we had spent the whole evening holding hands etc... .

Comes the moment where I must leave. She is so sweet caring and loving. Lovingly helps me put on my coat and scarf etc... .

I get to my car, and one minute later I receive a text message mistakenly sent to me, saying (to her xbf) : " I can't wait for thursday to be in your arms. Truly. You are my angel and my love. I love you... .";

There, she calls me and asks me not to read what she just sent. Because it was not meant for me.

I confront her with the message, and she SNAPS ! Telling me that I really have a mental problem, that there is absolutely nothing between us and that I should go see a T to check for my mental sanity and have him get my feets on the ground.

5 days later she writes to me begging me to come back... .


Ahahah ! That's so ridiculous... .

YUK. I remember the same, one of the nicest days we had, I had cooked for her, had sex about 4 times in the day, we were all over each other, been together about 6 months at this point. She leaves and then sends an email to her ex telling him she'll never love anyone like him.

Honestly, these people are just ___s and that's all there is to it. Sorry guys, but sometimes you gotta call it as it is.
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SoMuchPain
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« Reply #16 on: March 20, 2010, 03:54:13 AM »

YUK. I remember the same, one of the nicest days we had, I had cooked for her, had sex about 4 times in the day, we were all over each other, been together about 6 months at this point. She leaves and then sends an email to her ex telling him she'll never love anyone like him.

Honestly, these people are just ___s and that's all there is to it. Sorry guys, but sometimes you gotta call it as it is.

did she tell you she sent that email?  i mean, sounds like something they would do, but still.  damn,.
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turtlesoup
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« Reply #17 on: March 20, 2010, 03:57:12 AM »

YUK. I remember the same, one of the nicest days we had, I had cooked for her, had sex about 4 times in the day, we were all over each other, been together about 6 months at this point. She leaves and then sends an email to her ex telling him she'll never love anyone like him.

Honestly, these people are just ___s and that's all there is to it. Sorry guys, but sometimes you gotta call it as it is.

did she tell you she sent that email?  i mean, sounds like something they would do, but still.  damn,.

nope, she left her gmail open in the house and sent it from her blackberry. Appears in her outbox. this mythical magnificent ex (whom she slagged off to the hilt before we got very close) never replies to her emails. they have been nc for 2 years, bright boy.
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