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Things we can't afford to ignore
Depression: Stop Being Tortured by Your Own Thoughts
Surviving a Break-up when Your Partner has BPD
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Author Topic: Getting back on the saddle  (Read 2640 times)
DAS
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Never married
Posts: 1868


« Reply #30 on: March 22, 2010, 12:31:48 PM »

Im not OK without a girlfriend, still not, even after this and therapy, I still feel lonely with friends. Its like I need another level of closeness, that level you have only with a partner, i just dont get that from friends.

Does anyone else feel this way?

I feel this way. Of course, the way my pwBPD has been acting since Valentine's Day wasn't fulfilling my needs for closeness at all.

The only difference is that I have no offers. I will be single precisely as long as it takes to find the next woman who is interested in me. Not my choice, not my control. Judging from previous relationship dissilution - this could take months or years... .:'(
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O'Maria
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 450



« Reply #31 on: March 22, 2010, 12:54:43 PM »

I don't think you always have to wait 6 months to start a new relationship, thats just a recommendation so you have time to process what went wrong. But if youre an adult with life experience and good r/s skills it shouldnt take that much to figure yourself out.

When I had my troublesome r/s with my ex BP boyfriend, I knew the love story was over and we would never get engaged or married. It was so energy consuming and I started having physical symptoms like headache and depression, which is unusual for my positive spirit. He wanted to take me down every time I was in a good mood and he had his anxiety attacks. We were on/off at least 3 times and I want to say that it was preparation for the big break-up every single time.

I went back to the dating scene only a few weeks after he left for good and took all his belongings. It didnt take me long to understand myself or what went wrong in my rollercoaster relationship.

I agree that its hard to find a match. To me it happened by "chance", and I am happy with my new bf. The funny thing is that I didnt feel like love at first sight, I started liking him after we talked and got to know each others values, and he sounds just like people on this board. He is moving fast, but we have good communication and he is very open about his feelings, also he sounds so mature. Now I feel like I am with a man, when I was dating my BPbf it felt like I was with a teenage boy who had mood swings and temper tantrums and blamed it all on me.   
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