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Author Topic: Getting sued by ex BPD gf , and I want to have her psychologically evaluated?  (Read 715 times)
fjocc

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« on: December 24, 2010, 01:01:34 AM »

OK I KNOW, you dont mess around at work. IM going to be 40, she is 27, 15 month relationship with one of my employees.  Moved in together only 4 months before I almost went crazy. She had control of me terrible after we moved in.  I see now how she manipulated me at work over and over again. Moved out almost a month ago. I have been dealing with ing and or other mind games constantly at work.  She shouted angrily at 3 customers monday night, in which two walked out mad.  SPoke with them, they said this wasnt the first time she was mean.  I had heard this before throughout the relationship, but i protected her over and over again. WONDER WHY?  Ha ha... .   She was let go the next day, NOW THE wrongful termination lawsuit is coming !  I did notify my lawyer before letting her go, and he said it was best.  BUT i let my brother handle the letting her go, big mistake, no one believes me about her problem and anger, and actually she has been controlling his mind a bit with the hurt little girl that wont be able to pay her rent.  IM not there to help anymore with that. BY the way my stupid brother wanted to get rid of her 6 months ago, asked me to talk to her about being mean to some customers, and stop sitting out with others.   now he is feeling sorry for her.  Their good...    DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA, I caused her issues when I was requiring all of our workers to wear their shirts, keep their hair up, and not sit down with customers. SHE cannot do any of those, well hair up, but the rest no.  I let her get away with not doing all of those requirements while we were together.  SHE instantly worked on my brother and has him believing that I am broken hearted and got him to agree to let her stay and work for another few weeks, and not have to wear a shirt like everyone else, business as usual basically for her to feel special.  I started parking in her Made up in her mind parking space she soo loved.  SO sunday before the outbreak was drama drama, that was the day of the rules to be enforced.  She wanted to get fired, she knew I wouldnt allow her to run people out and cause me even more havoc and stress than I already have... .   I dont care about the lawsuit, theres nothing to get from me, I own and operate a bbq restaurant and bar, she was the bartender, just makes end meet, and you cant squeeze blood out of a turnip.   BUT MY QUESTION IS, does anyone know about having someone in a lawsuit psychologically evaluated, because that is going to be one of my requirements of the lawsuit.   Second, I'm sure that a certified BPD psychiatrist has the tools and know how to get through the constant lies and manipulation of these people ? I tell people close to me about my 100% belief she has this, and they think I am bit crazy.  I tell them that they are only seeing the movie trailer, I WAS IN THE MOVIE !  I DONT have any doubts that she has BPD, but with my current issues from  being in this terribly mental and emotionally destroying relationship, I am a bit scared she will fool them !  May add, I am in the belief that she will not go through with the lawsuit because of this evaluation... .    I know I am rambling through this, I just want the nightmare to go away !  FUN HAS JUST BEGUN THOUGH !  EVERY DAY MY brain and emotions get better and better, she still keeps coming though. 
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Border Crossing
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« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2010, 01:14:19 AM »

All I will say is if any reasonably experienced pdoc evaluates her, and she is borderline, she will figuratively test positive. BPD varies in severity tho. Also remember that she prob has an extensive history of borderline behaviour before you knew her. Not sure of legal system where you are but this will be on the table depending on the lawsuit.

Hard sitrep man, best wishes
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fjocc

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« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2010, 01:46:15 AM »

THE relationship model on this website is my relationship with her exactly. EXACTLY      She also has all of the symptoms and behaviors.  SELF HURT, i dont think, but everything else... . 

drives fast, no real friends, all the people she knows now are because of me, shes wearing them away slowly with getting pitty from them. MOST all of them are men. Cant work with rules, feels like she is the only one that works hard in the bar, criticizes others. No remorse for people.  Two dogs, first one is petrified of her, i have seen her hit the new one extremely hard when it had an accident. She trained both of them... .Manipulates everyone she can, mainly men, and gives nothing in return.  98% of her so called friends are men.  Still talks to the certain ex that parted with her, i believe before the hater stage.  Claims first ex cheated on her and stole money from her, after he broke tvs windshield of car etc etc etc. By the way, he was her boss too. All three boyfriends, including myself, that she claims to have had, I found that we were all born in 1970.  ? Father figure, i believe.  She always talks of letting her father down and never getting his approval.  Raised herself basically, moved out at 17.  She made i think almost 150,000. in a two year time and has nothing but back taxes to show for it. This was in her so called first relationship. SHe has shoes from highschool that she keeps washing and wont throw them away.   Very needy. Has moved 9 times in the last 5 years and has had job, after job, after job.  Has used cocaine, marijuana, drinks alcohol, but claims to not be a big drinker, we drank everynight for a couple of months when we were first dating.  She says it was because I drank.  She still did it.   Cant see the big picture, argued with her about that on several occasions about work.  I can tell she either likes someone, or dont.  What else?  MY goodness, I know Im not the crazy one... .  Told me she was toxic to me after I moved out, but selfishly wanted to still be my best friend... .     Can they lie about all of this in a test or evaluation?
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Border Crossing
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« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2010, 02:53:48 AM »

Again, prof psychiatrist will evaluate her properly and dx BPD. Yes, ur spot on they are specialised liars, manipulators etc Important bit is who evaluates her. Whether its an inexperienced govt assigned pdoc or one of your choosing. If it was me I would shop around for a pdoc with extensive experience with treating BPD. BPD is more prevalent then you might think. If you simply google you will prob find a fair bit of info to follow up on.

What I was trying to say before is with BPD, BUT NOT EVERY CASE, the last place she will want to be is in the courtroom explaining her complex past. That is aform of confrontation for BPD and that is not what they want. If you dont have a police record, combined with pdoc assessment, it paints a picture.

If you havent already done so, I would see a psychologist to help you through this time

Best wishes
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Im.okay.now
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Relationship status: In a great relationship with someone who isn't nuts !
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« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2010, 03:19:42 AM »

I don't know where you live but where i live it doesn't matter if you prove that the employee is nuttier than a fruit cake. As an employer you accepted and condoned the behavior and from what i can tell from your post she got preferential treatment as well.

You do not mention if you gave her any warnings about her behavior or if you had given her any opportunities as an employer to change her behavior? Again just from what you wrote it seems like she was given no warning, you did not do any due diligence as a responsible employer and fired her just like that? Where i live and operate several businesses this would end up costing me a whole crap load of settlement $$$$$$.

I don't want to scare you but if i was in your shoes i would see a lawyer who speiclaizes in this kind of situation real quick and make sure that he knows all of the details of this story.

Romantic relationships with BPD can be difficult to manage ... .romantic relationships with BPD employees could be hell on earth !

Good luck.

ION
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« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2010, 04:28:43 AM »

I agree with ION. This is a legal matter. Wrongful termination claims can carry weight if the result is found to be "Firing in retaliation." Some of these violations carry statutory penalties, while others will result in the employer's payment of damages based on the terminated employee's lost wages and other expenses. Certain wrongful termination cases may raise the possibility that the employer pay punitive damages to the terminated employee, while other cases may carry the prospect of holding more than one wrongdoer responsible for damages.

Both you and your Brother need to get together on this. Best if you stay away from her and stop parking in her designated spot. You might be surprised how a severance package will soothe over ruffled feathers and eventually send her on her way. 

Excerpt
BUT MY QUESTION IS, does anyone know about having someone in a lawsuit psychologically evaluated, because that is going to be one of my requirements of the lawsuit.

It is the courts job to determine whether or not any laws have been broken. Just the facts. It isn't the courts job to determine the psychological evaluations of employer and employee.
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fjocc

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« Reply #6 on: December 24, 2010, 06:01:31 PM »

I cannot reveal why I am not concerned about the suit, other than she cannot get a dime no matter what, she knows this as well... .  I think she is trying to scare us into giving her the job back, Really ! Our track record has been a forgiving one for others.  Can she win?  POSSIBLY ?   But she will have to go through a personal realization of what she is, and how she destroys peoples minds and emotions. I'm looking forward to exposing her for who she really is, I am sure a lot of you are like me, she has been working on corrupting all of "my" friends and customers after the relationship ended.  She doesnt have a friend in the world.  Most everyone she talks to these days, are because of me, and they dont know whats going on, except for a whole lot of drama, drama, drama.  If I have to lose this deal, but expose the truth about her, THEN SO BE IT ! Even my brothers dont believe me about her... .  SHE ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING A DECENT WOMAN !  THEY SAY SHE IS A NORMAL WOMAN WITH SOME ISSUES !   I'm not taking this personal, but the 'TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE"   TIME FOR THE TRUTH !    I hope her lawyers see who their suing on contingency before they waste their time and resources !   IT will be a waste for them, winning is one thing, getting paid is another... .       MERRY CHRISTMAS, my mind is almost back to real, emotions slowly coming around.  LIFE is better NC... .My health is more important !
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