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Skills we were never taught
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Author Topic: I am feeling better using positive affirmations  (Read 1285 times)
Loveisfree
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1130


« on: September 23, 2011, 07:57:55 AM »

Hi guys,
 
Just wanted to share.  I have been feeling pretty down lately, a lot of negative thoughts seeping in.  I was trying to find some nice positive quotes to pick me up and ran across positive affirmations.
 
Well, I started reading some aloud the other night and the next day I was already feeling better and calmer.  The funny thing is, I tried to get my horribly negative coworkers to recite some with me (we share an office) and they were unable  Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)).  It was like it was easier for them to continue with their negative thoughts than to give this a try so I did it myself.
 
Here are a few examples that I like.  I am trying to come up with some that fit our unique issues as nons and children of pwBPD.  Any suggestions are greatly appreciated  Smiling (click to insert in post)  I copied these from this site:



    When I believe in myself, so do others.
I express my needs and feelings.
I am my own unique self - special, creative and wonderful.
All my relationships are loving and harmonious.
I am at peace.
I trust in the process of life.
Life is a joy filled with delightful surprises.
My life is a joy filled with love, fun and friendship all I need do is stop all criticism, forgive, relax and be open.
I choose love, joy and freedom, open my heart and allow wonderful things to flow into my life.
I know that I deserve Love and accept it now.
I give out Love and it is returned to me multiplied.
I rejoice in the Love I encounter everyday.
Every Cell in my body vibrates with energy and health.
Loving myself heals my life. I nourish my mind, body and soul.
My body heals quickly and easily
.

It was kind of silly for me at first too but it really works!    
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
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« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2011, 09:17:17 AM »

Thanks for sharing a fantastic website.  Just what I need!  I, too, have been trying to avoid negative thoughts and am in the process of replacing my old critical thought patterns with more pleasant, uplifting and supportive ones.  It has taken me quite a long time to realize the messages I received verbally and subconciously (sp?) from my dBPDsister are her opinion and not everyone's and certainly not fact!  Better late than never.
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Sunnys Blues
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« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2011, 11:57:56 PM »

Great website.

To help me keep from obsessing on my mother's stupid stuff, my therapist had me say the following:

My mother has an untreated mental disorder.

So, whenever something negative happened with my mom, I could add that statement to the sentence, action, etc.

I quickly found my attitude changing. My mom is not a victim. She has an untreated mental disorder.

I was able to go back to my favorite positive affirmation:

Something Good Is Going To Happen.

People ask me why I have a tiny card with "SGGH" on it. That's to remind me something good is going to happen.

And it does.

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tiredmommy2
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« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2011, 05:53:30 PM »

Thanks for posting this, Loveisfree.

I heard from someone else that positive affirmations really do work so I tried it a while ago.  Of course, nothing can be simple with me, so I'm not sure if I was doing this right.  Smiling (click to insert in post)

I have a problem with too many negative thoughts circulating through my head, so my positive affirmations would go something like this:

-I express my needs and feelings... .but who even cares how I feel. (On a subconscious level, I feel that I don't deserve to have needs or feelings - we all know where that came from)

-I am my own unique self - special, creative and wonderful... .and messed up.  I'm a walking ball of nerves who had one nightmare and 2 panic attacks in the last 24 hours.

It would be better for the last parts to be left off, but seriously, that's what happened when I was trying to do this... .Is the point to say these every day, even if you don't believe them, and just hope that this drowns out the negative? 
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Gowest
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« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2011, 08:36:10 PM »

It would be better for the last parts to be left off, but seriously, that's what happened when I was trying to do this... .Is the point to say these every day, even if you don't believe them, and just hope that this drowns out the negative? 

Yes. Smiling (click to insert in post) When you catch yourself changing them, go back and do it again and don't let yourself add the extra bit.

I remember doing something similar in college, trying to change negative thinking. Mostly about stuff like how making mistakes (like, grammar mistakes) doesn't mean I'm a bad person. It felt silly at first but it really helped.
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Loveisfree
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« Reply #5 on: September 25, 2011, 10:33:08 AM »

 Bullet: comment directed to __ (click to insert in post) tiredmommy2

I do the same thing you do which is why I really want to change my thoughts.  I was surprised at how negative my thoughts have become.  

Right now, I am just reciting them as they are written.  I plan to post a few at my desk and some here at home.  If I just read through them I feel better immediately.  Some are already starting to stick in my mind.  I want to get a few more related to our unique situations as nons, maybe something that goes against what are pwBPD try to make us believe about ourselves.

For example, my mom has been telling people I am mean/evil, etc.  I tell myself I am kind and loving and I treat others with respect and I deserve respect.  Things like that  Smiling (click to insert in post)

You are just starting no contact and that is a really tough time    
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