Possible PTSD from a relationship with pwBPD?

[colourguy]

Not sure if this is the right place to post... .

Has anyone thought they might be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of a realtionship with a BPD?

Since Christmas my wife and i have had a number of break ups centerd around a number of violent incidences (putting a hole in the plater wall with her head), but the main one where she went on a 15 min rampage through our home, trashing the bathroom including smashing a 3' square hole in the bathroom wall - kicking out a 6' x 3' glass window (didn't break!), kicking another hole in the hallway on the way down to try to talk to me. By this time I had locked myself in my studio so she proceeded to nearly sucessfully kick her way through the panel door. I was calling 000 (AUS) by this time not knowing if her intentions were to seriously harm me. I'm 6' and she is as tall as me. Also i have also been VERY careful to not put myself in any situation where i would be forced to physically restrain her because of possible ramifications.

As a result of this the Police served an AVO against her for myself and the children and I had to face her in court.

Aditional to being in the FOG, i'm also quite jumpy at sudden noises and on edge too especially when she is around and in a negative mood and also have trouble sleeping - once waking up violently thinking she was standing over me with a knife.

So wondering if it's post traumatic stress?  ? Thoughts?

[marbleloser]

Sounds like PTSD to me.I had it and it's no fun.I don't know how to help you snap out of it.It took me about a month of NC and talking to people I could trust.Maybe if you could see a T and talk about things with them it might help.

Mine was all from mental and no physical abuse or rages.I truly feel your pain though.It took a physical toll on me and I'm sure it is with you also.

[catnap]

From what I have read around the boards PTSD is not unusual for the non in the relationship.  My son's manifested through physical symptoms. . .odd rashes, gastrointestinal upsets (he lost a lot of weight), involuntary muscle twitches, etc.  All cleared up in about 2 months of being away from uBPDgf. 

These relationships can be very stressful and the body reacts. 

[SmartTigerMom]

I was officially diagnosed with PTSD as a result of my long term relationship with my expwBPD. it is very possible. Take care of your self.

[an0ught]

Hi ColorGuy,

the level of violence you experience is somewhere on the upper end of what a normal person experiences in their life   and seeing that from a close person makes it worse. After a month and more you still experience symptoms so maybe it is worth seeking professional help dealing with it.

You are certainly not alone in this situation.

[colourguy]

Went to see my GP today for another matter and spoke about the posible PTSD... .he was pretty sure and gave me a big lecture on self care 

marbleloser... .i'm seeing a T on a very regular basis now and will be the first thing i begin to work through.

catnap... .main syptoms is being pretty jumpy at noises and sleeping. Now i have turned and am walking in the direction of 'Out' (can't say out of OZ because i live here - thats what we aussies call our country at times  ) i can feel some hope for normalicy creeping in.

Thanks for your support guy's - being on here and reading and talking is a big help.

lot's of self care coming up - bring on the hammock

[mike sergent]

i'm an army disabled vet (never saw combat). there is no reason i should have PTSD. i was raised in a "normal" home, both parents. i have a college degree. i have no fear of anything. i lie. i fear God. i fear my uBPDw worse. what is sleep? one eye is always open. i jump at sounds expecting her to be over me with a knife. unfounded? she has beaten me, kicked me, thrown things at me, chocked me, knocked me down, broken more household items than i can count. turned my only son against me, woke me at night screaming, told lies to my friends and family, etc., etc. i see my T shortly, i'll find out if i have PTSD. i think i do. you and i, people like us we need to stick together to keep sane and to understand. why am i still with her? everyday i become less sure. i love her when things are stable. stability is all but gone. i am loosing my identity trying to get her to a stable place. it's not working. i need you as much as you need me. God help us all. someone once told me God made love crazy so he wouldn't feel so alone. i'm called mike sergeant here, maybe we should stay close if nothing else for comfort. take care of yourself first no matter how hard that may sound. i hope we both make it through. may peace and love fill your life. be cool, God bless.

[Lila]

I was raised by a BPD momster and my T suspects that I have PSTD.  I have to admitt I do have the classic symptoms.  My momster used to rage in the middle of the night and burst into our bedrooms, cursing us and just dumping her crap on to her kids.  We never knew when the bedroom door was going to swing open and once it started it went on all night long.  I hate that btch. 

I am so sorry you are going through this.  I am nc with my momster and BPD sister and I am doing much better with my symptoms.  I used to be a lot more hypervigilant.

Lila

[colourguy]

Had to see the bank and Real Estate Agent with W today - the hypervigilance is very noticable when i'm around her.

I can't believe how twisted and damaged i feel.  :'(

[thicker skin]

Hey Colourguy  Hi!

I think I suffered with PTSD after years and years of utterly disgusting accusations, cruel taunts and rows that would leave me bewildered and broken. My symptoms started after I'd left him at the 15 yr point, gone back after my needs and wishes 'appeared' to be met and promises made... .Ie my boundaries and myself respected... .No more negative treatment, thoughts or living conditions... .Unity and trust... .Independence for me... .Friends and family welcome... .You get the picture?  I believed I had that for 2 yrs, but it all came flooding back when I triggered him by asking for too much in the form of a will and joint home.

Mr Niceguy disappeared and I was once again the devil incarnate. The rug was pulled from beneath my feet, the words that made me feel safe evaporated and were replaced with vicious taunts, terrible accusations and personal attacks. Then he'd be nice and thought I could just let it slide, accept his view of me and carry on 'doing' at the expense of my esteem, hopes and value.

I'd have sweat inducing nightmares where our rows played over and over again. I was terrified to move some days, filled with anger, broken at having believed him, only to find out that hed been acting and I'd allowed him to dupe me into a fantasy world. His face was evil, his words cut deep ... .And then he'd be as nice as pie again? I didn't know which way was up. Scratch the surface and there he was... .Spitting vile taunts, making threats to me and my family, promising to make my worst nightmares come true if I left him again, he'd take the children, have me committed. It was awful.

I had days when I just sat in the corner and shook if he came near me. He didn't understand. He was being nice? Why was I such a mess? He'd ask me why I was upset... .I'd tell him, we'd row... .Motion perpetuated. I stopped telling him, which annoyed him. I didn't need evicting or insulting for stating my needs and wishes, which were normal. I was treated like I was less than human.

In the early years, I could quickly move past his wicked words and thoughts, but as time went on, the 'get over it' took longer and longer. I stopped believing that things would ever be different, came to realise that whatever I did, it wouldn't be enough and if I sat a polygraph every day, I'd still be a lying cheating dirtbag, one way or another. Breathing felt complicated some days. I was totally and utterly destroyed.

I had my first panic attack in the middle of town, because a 4x4 had tooted at me and I was held accountable for things like that. I couldn't relax, sleep easy or make decisions. I woke up sweating, sometimes screaming and lost weight. The terror I felt when he came near me was dreadful, for both of us. He would not accept any responsibility for the situation, refused to acknowledge that he had hurt me, thought I deserved it and that he had a right to behave that way towards me. In giving me responsibility for the abuse I was suffering, he amplified the ramifications and the rows magnified.

I lost myself. My mind was bent in so many ways, I barely knew my own name some days. I don't know what your answer is, distance may be the only way. In the meantime, lean on the Dom vi team, keep a journal (if you dare!), see your doctor and please know that what you are going through are normal emotions in an abnormal situation... .That's what PTSD is. Complex PTSD... .A gradual build up until your mind and body has reached its max.

Strength to you   .  It's so very hard to walk on eggshells and landlines, in a room full of trap doors.

[T2Logan]

Yes. I really do. It's an emotional trauma being with a BPD. I already had PTSD so I don't know if I was... .predisposed to it or what. When she started meds and the behavior stopped for the majority of the time, I would do something that she would scream and rant and rage about in the past and get so anxious I'd shake and almost get sick that she would start yelling again. I'd be terrified and expect it. I would have dreams of her raging and following through with the threat of hurting me and killing herself.

[fatheroftwo]

I realize that this is an old post but thank you everyone who shared information.  I have recently come to the conclusion that I have been suffering from PTSD for quite some time as the result of my nBPD ex-wife. 

I suppose the next step is to find a way out for myself.

[Youcantfoolme]

Although I didn't experience anything near what you're describing in your post, I think I suffered from some sort of PTSD after breaking up with my UBPD ex. The mental and emotional abuse I suffered because if him definitely took it's toll. As you described, I was jumpy as well as paranoid for a long while after we split. I'm not quite sure what an AVO is,  assuming it's the Aus equivalent of an RO (restraining order or order of protection, here in the states but I believe that is a good idea. Make sure you keep your boundaries. I hope you also seek some help and therapy. I know the idea of a man being afraid of being hurt by a woman has some stigma attached but I'm a woman and I TOTALLY believe the threat is real, especially this day in age. Please be careful and get help.