hypochondria?

[Parents! Get help here!]

My 35 year old BPD daughter has a different fatal condition at least once a week.  Last week it was a tooth (having it fixed was going to kill her, but she refused meds, laughing gas etc. and I don't think it's been fixed yet, assuming there was really something wrong with it to begin with).  As of today its "possible MS" because she's got a numb foot... .who knows what it will be next!  It seems there's always something and it's always something strange, odd, undiagnosable - a funny rash, a weird pain etc. - but always, always very very VERY serious and frightening and "nobody cares."  In a way, she's right: nobody does care anymore,  because she's alienated everyone within miles of her, and because her constant "serious medical issues" are very wearing... .Is this within the realm of BPD, this hypochondria? 

[grandma mom]

My 35 year old BPD daughter has a different fatal condition at least once a week.  Last week it was a tooth (having it fixed was going to kill her, but she refused meds, laughing gas etc. and I don't think it's been fixed yet, assuming there was really something wrong with it to begin with).  As of today its "possible MS" because she's got a numb foot... .who knows what it will be next!  It seems there's always something and it's always something strange, odd, undiagnosable - a funny rash, a weird pain etc. - but always, always very very VERY serious and frightening and "nobody cares."  In a way, she's right: nobody does care anymore,  because she's alienated everyone within miles of her, and because her constant "serious medical issues" are very wearing... .Is this within the realm of BPD, this hypochondria? 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[twojaybirds]

we have "regular" kidney infections and  have had cancer of the mouth.

I carry nmy dd insurance so when she turned 18 I gave her her card.  Now I jsut tell her togo see a dr and report back to me the results of any medical tests. 

Somehow they all disappear untreated.

[vivekananda]

granma momm, I have read posts in the past with frustrated parents coping with this sort of situation. Our pw BPD are sensitive souls, they do feel more keenly I believe - this leaves them vulnerable to their imaginations and everything else. Good luck with it and 2jbirds advice is good. Validate the emotion but don't get caught in the drama.

eg :"You must feel anxious about the possibility of having MS. If it worries you too much, see the doctor and let me know how you get on." end of story.

cheers,

Vivek  

[Forgetmenot]

Yep... .same here.  D17 practically lives at the nurses office at school.

Any sensation that she has is hugely out of proportion for her.  So sure, I imagine it is hard on her.  But, this is the real world and you can't keep missing school, work, etc every time you have a period cramp.

For a few years it was really bad and I was just at wits end on how to deal with her coming to me day and night with these constant issues.

Once she insisted on going to the gyn because she was having so much bleeding with her period since going of her birth control pill.  Come to find out, she hadn't even gotten a period!  We went round and round about why I would not take her to the doctor for that.  It was a bizzare conversation for sure.

Eventually, she moved on and developed "kidney stones".  Ugh.  There were no kidney stones.  Actually, she is healthy as a horse.

Sometimes validating does help.  I look forward to the day she can drive herself to the doctor to her hearts content.

[rosie0523]

My daughter with BPD has some illness or another almost every day for the last 25 years.  She now has RSD which takes up almost all her waking time.  Visits to the emergency room, daily calls to one or more doctor or pharmacist. She has been on dozens and dozens of medications.   She is online for hours researching, chatting re her current condition. She has had 50 plus jobs most of which she could not hold for more than a few weeks. She has a 9 year old son and is convinced that he also has some terrible mental problems.  He has been tested and seen by therapists who say he is OK but this does not satisfy her.  He does have some problems but I am convinced that it is from being around his mother and her constant negativity about health issues and her constant dislike for almost everyone.  She is 45 and is getting worse even though she has been on medication for some time.  We tried therapy but she is convinced that everyone else is sick and her thinking is normal.  I may be off base, but she talks about nothing else but her health.  If her son would be diagnosed with something (not that she wants him to be sick) she would have even more health issues to share with the world. I am worried for my grandson and I'm starting to lose my grip.

[lovesjazz]

Weve been from lung cancer, to parkinsons, to stomach ulcers. A call for attention and a way to divert from the wrong that theyve done... . in my opinion. Very scary because you never know when something really might be wrong. I dont know of too many things that might be a worse diagnosis than this disease.   It is a nightmare.

[Verbena]

Yes.  My dd28 can be "sick" with strep one minute and screaming at someone on the phone the next.  Or "sick" with a migraine and posting about it on FB.  Or "sick" with a stomach ache and texting like crazy stirring up drama.  It's an attention thing. 

[heronbird]

This is an interesting subject.

First of all you have to remember, she could actually be ill, (boy who cried woolf)

Secondly, it could be, like with my dd, she is addicted to codine, so she tells the doc she is in pain.

Thirdly, it could mean they just need something, like reassurance or validation.

I have read this is very common with BPD. They like going to the doctor, they feel like someone cares about them was one theory I read.

So so sad