Update on ds in jail

[Being Mindful]

Qcr

Thanks.  In many ways our stories are similar... .we adopted our kids and the troubles showed up at an early age. 

My hope for everyones kiddos is to have a more peaceful and independent future.

cfh, Add me to the similar story... .we adopted and we started seeking services for her when she was 5.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[cfh]

Beingmindful

When the unusual behaviors start so young it's very hard to get answers.  In pre-K my ds teachers started to suggest we get him "tested".  But tested for what? 

He's 29 now so it's been a long journey and one that I never could have imagined all those years ago.

I'm different now, my non ds has been so affected, my marriage is not what it once was but we are still together after 34 years though it's fragile.

My ds in jail is calm and surprisingly happy. 

I don't think I'll ever understand life.

I fly home tomorrow so I have the whole day to myself since there are no visits on weekends.  Think I'll go to see Les Mis.  I'll be that little old lady sitting by herself in the back row!

[lovesjazz]

Cfh I am so happy you are at peace at seeing your ds. The jail services served our ds well.  We saw signs at a very young age also... .but like you said... .for what? Our lives all seem to have twists and turns. Our intent in adopting was to give our children a better life. Perhaps this is a better life than what they would have had.

[qcarolr]

A little off topic: always wonder if higher risk for adopted kids from?  genetics that put need to relinquish kids inherent in the bio parents? drug/alcohol use pre-natal -- self-medication due to stress, peer pressure, genetics, mental illness in bio parents? Abadonment issues from a very very early, pre-verbal age? Stress hormones pre-natal impacting fetal development?

I could go on and on and on with questions. So few answers! Science will slowly, ever so slowly, give us a few answers for future generations perhaps.

qcr  

[lovesjazz]

I have also wondered what the bio parents genes played in his mental illness. I know he was born at home (he is a foreign adoption). He came into our home at 5 months old. Was a horrible, restless sleeper.

[Being Mindful]

We are in contact with our daughter's birthfamily and are convinced that BPD exists in several members of her family.

[Speedracer]

cfh How was Les Mis? So glad you found peace over the Holidays!

I do believe genetics plays s huge role in this. I am the product of an unplanned pregnancy between 2 impulsive teenagers. My bio dad had 2 girls pregnant at once! I think my mom was BPD. Although pressured to she did not give me up for adoption. She had many children w different fathers. I never had big problems with myself, but All my kids have issues. There must be strong family history. I never expected this! At a special needs school we were at a majority of the kids were adopted. If they were not there was a family member w issues.

I feel sad & responsible I brought this into the world unknowingly. This is Opposite how people say they feel by adopting & providing good care to kids who would otherwise not have had it.

I hope your son continues to get the care & attention he needs!

[Esperança_Hope]

Cfh,

I missed you a lot.

It´s interesting, amazing how things can happen when we accept . Your DS is better because the boundaries are there!

And you are taking better chance with the reality as he does.

congrats. You show maturity and i wish this period will help as it is yet.

Love you, CFH