Daily phone contact

[newlymarried]

Question, does the court consider daily phone contact parenting time? BPDxw recently has started to miss her daily calls. Is it worth it to document every missed call? BPDxw sees SD3 only every other weekend. The daily calls are most of the contact that she has with kiddo.

Should my husband and I document every missed call?

[GaGrl]

Yes, definitely.  If she asked for it, with the intention of maintaining a parental presence between visitations, and she's failing to provide that presence, it speaks to her parenting intentions and skills.

[ForeverDad]

Having a log can help defend you in case she claims you don't let her calls get through.  Likely such complaints would be vague and without details.  Court considers vague claims with minimal concern.  You could ask for dates and times and then check them against your log.

I've been logging calls for years now.  Yes, some fail, but it's generally because she calls only my cell phone and refuses except in very rare cases to call the house phone.  I'm listed in the phone book, so it's not like she can't call an alternate line.

[DreamGirl]

Is it court ordered that she talk to her daily?

[newlymarried]

In the court order, both parents are to have daily phone contact with SD3. It is part of the parenting plan.

[DreamGirl]

In the court order, both parents are to have daily phone contact with SD3. It is part of the parenting plan.

For me, I wouldn't make an issue of it unless it needs to be?

My husband and his ex have this in their court order, utilized it a lot in the earlier moments of their divorce (when the girls were little)... .  and then it kinda tapered off.

I really like that she doesn't call the house every day that the girls are with us now.

I might document and then pull it out if she says you're blocking calls - and which she will definitely accuse you of if you bring it up. So I don't know that it's really an issue that will help you and may even hurt you if you have to battle out who did what.  

I see it as just a way for her to be able to talk to her daughter while at the other house, and vice versa... .  not necessarily a "requirement" to be followed. You both need to allow access even if the parent isn't following thru.

Do you want it out of the order? Or maybe just let the sleeping dog lie - since she's not calling anyways?

~DreamGirl  

[ForeverDad]

I agree with DreamGirl, it may be stated as an 'order' but the court won't require anyone to make their calls to the child.  For example, if ex skips one or more of her weekends, no one is going to force her to take her child at the scheduled times, missed exchanges will just be forfeited time.  Same with phone calls, it's up to ex to call.  When D is older it may be up to D to decide whether to call her mother if she doesn't call.  Maybe it was stated that way in the order to reflect the court's expectations and/or so the other parent couldn't complain about calls being too frequent?

[newlymarried]

In the court order, both parents are to have daily phone contact with SD3. It is part of the parenting plan.

For me, I wouldn't make an issue of it unless it needs to be?


I might document and then pull it out if she says you're blocking calls - and which she will definitely accuse you of if you bring it up. So I don't know that it's really an issue that will help you and may even hurt you if you have to battle out who did what.  

I see it as just a way for her to be able to talk to her daughter while at the other house, and vice versa... .  not necessarily a "requirement" to be followed. You both need to allow access even if the parent isn't following thru.

Do you want it out of the order? Or maybe just let the sleeping dog lie - since she's not calling anyways?

~DreamGirl  

Problem is she doesn't allow contact for the 2.83 days a month that she has SD3. I prefer her not to call, but it seems to upset SD3 when she doesn't call. We have mediation in a year and a half. I am asking about documenting her lack of follow through in case she asks the court for more time at the mediation. We wouldn't tell her that we are documenting her lack of contact with SD3. I am just wondering how the court will, or if the court will take into account the fact that she can't even manage daily phone contact.

[livednlearned]

Maybe my case is different, but my order says S11 is to have Skype contact MWF for 30 minutes between 6-6:30pm. That's an awfully hard time of night for consistency -- don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to that.

Anyway, the parenting coordinator on our case said that 3x a week is a lot. And N/BPDx sees S11 for 8 hours on the weekend. No overnights.

I agree with Dream Girl -- keep a log in case she accuses you of blocking the calls. But if there is a pattern of her not calling SD3, the courts will probably suggest something else. They may agree that daily phone contact is a lot. Even when S11 was 8 and expected to call his dad every night, he rarely had much to say. It was awkward for both of them.

[newlymarried]

We are working on getting Skype for kiddo. Her Mom's residence has changed so many times in the last year, it would be nice to be able to see SD3.

We are still doing everything pro-se. The family court system is daunting.

We will just log it and hopefully in a year and a half BPDxw will not even be interested in her kiddo.