I saw it First time since knowing

[Washisheart]

A couple nights ago we were watching a movie & all of a sudden his eyes turned extremely sad and he got distant. So I put my arms out motioning for him to come lay on me which he did. Then he jumped up and went running to the kitchen to find something to cook to divert his attention.

I waited until he was feeling better to talk about it. He said sometimes he gets this overwhelming "what am I doing here?" Feeling. He didn't think I knew & was shocked that not only did I know, but explained to him why it happens. He didn't realize that is why I put my arms out.

Honestly it scared me, because it was a reminder of the reality of the situation. But I was happy to see that he understood the feeling that overcame him was "wrong" & he quickly diverted his attention to focus on something else.

I have seen the distant/ sad him in the past, but this was my first time armed with the knowledge I have.

[real lady]

 Since no one else had commented; I wanted to stop by to support you on this new found realization of his BPD behavior.

It seems good that he is aware of how he is feeling and when he is feeling overwhelmed but able to verbal it. We all have feelings that can be overwhelming but if we constantly distract ourselves, we will not learn HOW to deal with them in the future.

I see an avoidance of intimacy as well as with his own thoughts and feelings. Not uncommon at all for BPDs.