summer and spring time with child

[samnc]

I dont want to make my previous post even longer, so I wanted to create a new thread... .  I think I have the answers, but want confirmation.

1. I  am entitled to have son for one week in spring.  It is understood that this is during his spring break.  Ex-wife has business travel, and I think she will either: a) want to argue her trip in February is in the spring; b) I shouldnt have that time because she doesnt have the child as much as she wants.  I am thinking the best course of action is to tell her what I want in writing, in a nice way, and drag her to court if she refuses.  Is there a better approach?  I certainly want the child in the spring, as I am entitled for.  I really dont want to drag her to court, but I can't think of a better way.

2. ditto for summer, except she refuses to discuss what her summer plans are and when I can have him.  I caved in last year and did not have him as much as I should have, nor did I assert the weeks I wanted him, even though under the agreement I have first priority of the weeks in even number years.

3. she wants more child support since she wants him in more specialized camp programs.  Legally, I do not think she is entitled to it.  I think the best repsonse is simply to write back via e-mail no... .  should any explaination be given to her? 

I am not really interested in legal stuff... .  right now, its more of how to deal with situations.  I have miserably failed at this the past five years, but I might as well get it right now.

[Matt]

1. I  am entitled to have son for one week in spring.  It is understood that this is during his spring break.  Ex-wife has business travel, and I think she will either: a) want to argue her trip in February is in the spring; b) I shouldnt have that time because she doesnt have the child as much as she wants.  I am thinking the best course of action is to tell her what I want in writing, in a nice way, and drag her to court if she refuses.  Is there a better approach?  I certainly want the child in the spring, as I am entitled for.  I really dont want to drag her to court, but I can't think of a better way.

Just as a side comment - not to nit-pick - be careful about the word "entitled".  Our judge reacted very negatively when my wife used that word.  I think it might be a hot button for some judges, because they see parents who think they're entitled to stuff, when it's really supposed to be about what's best for the kids... .  

What are the exact words of the court order that talk about this issue?

You might try saying, "The court order says 'Blah blah blah'.  Based on that, I will take Child on vacation from Date/Time to Date/Time."  Not a request - not a choice for her to make - but a statement of what you will do based on what the CO says.

2. ditto for summer, except she refuses to discuss what her summer plans are and when I can have him.  I caved in last year and did not have him as much as I should have, nor did I assert the weeks I wanted him, even though under the agreement I have first priority of the weeks in even number years.

Same thing - read the CO carefully and state what you will do accordingly.  cc: your lawyer.  Use exact dates and times.

3. she wants more child support since she wants him in more specialized camp programs.  Legally, I do not think she is entitled to it.  I think the best repsonse is simply to write back via e-mail no... .  should any explaination be given to her? 

How did she ask?  By e-mail?

You're probably right - a simple note that says, "I will continue to pay the agreed child support." is plenty.  Or no response at all.  Don't argue, or explain, just state what you will do, and then do it.

I am not really interested in legal stuff... .  right now, its more of how to deal with situations.  I have miserably failed at this the past five years, but I might as well get it right now.

You might want to draft your responses and post them here to see how they look to everybody.  I've gotten good feedback when I've done that.  (Pretty often, when I write it down, I realize there is no reason to send it!)