I'm the same as the BPDH

[Marcie]

My obsession with him is my illness. How do I make it stop? He's off his mess and I feel like I'm spiraling with anxiety over it.

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[elemental]

When I am like this, people here say detach more. You detach in order to help you. So what helps you detach from what is going on with him so that you feel stable.

And one thing I ran into, weirdly, was I was really scared to detach, like I was doing something wrong. Co-dependence. It's ok to detach, it will help stabilize you.

What do you do to take care of yourself and distract yourself so you can break the live wire connection some?

I like to get up and leave the house a bit, or turn on the tv while i clean. it really helps me. Just something that breaks the obsessive thoughts and gets me moving around.

[waverider]

My obsession with him is my illness.

This is a big issue. Often when first finding out about it is a relief and then you start studying it, but you still cant fix it. You learn ways to manage it. Things get better, but after a while you burn out with constantly being "on duty" and researching it, even at times being here too much and it can consume you.

Learning to switch off and let "stuff" fall as it will at times is necessary, even though it is difficult.