any help for how to handle mutual friends?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I hope some one can provide some help on how to respond to those mutual friends who have been a witness to our rift and seem to be becoming involved.

Short version of the story; my partner and I split at the first of the year.   We have a mutual friend who I work with and see every day. 

My ex has been out to the movies with our friend.  My ex was making plans to travel with our friend to SC, just as friend of course, to lift her spirits while she goes through this difficult time. 

And when that fell through they are now making plans to travel to Ptown together, just the two of them, staying in seperate rooms, again just as friends.

Our friend is keeping me updated with their travel plans and social plans and now it has gotten weird for me.

In the last week or so my ex and I are discussing attempting trying again to have a relationship. 

And the planning is continuing for this trip to PTown.

I don't want to stop talking to our friend but I don't want to hear about what a good time they are having socially either.

I have tried point blank saying I don't want to know what my ex is up to and of course, we always end up on that topic again.

Suggestions?

[babyducks]

I hope some one can provide some help on how to respond to those mutual friends who have been a witness to our rift and seem to be becoming involved.

Short version of the story; my partner and I split at the first of the year.   We have a mutual friend who I work with and see every day. 

My ex has been out to the movies with our friend.  My ex was making plans to travel with our friend to SC, just as friend of course, to lift her spirits while she goes through this difficult time. 

And when that fell through they are now making plans to travel to Ptown together, just the two of them, staying in seperate rooms, again just as friends.

Our friend is keeping me updated with their travel plans and social plans and now it has gotten weird for me.

In the last week or so my ex and I are discussing attempting trying again to have a relationship. 

And the planning is continuing for this trip to PTown.

I don't want to stop talking to our friend but I don't want to hear about what a good time they are having socially either.

I have tried point blank saying I don't want to know what my ex is up to and of course, we always end up on that topic again.

Suggestions?

[Clearmind]

BD, this question comes up a lot.

I had to be firm with my friends and said that my rs/my ex was completely off topic and dont go there. You may need to repeat your boundary.

Your friend may feel like she is stepping on toes - to relieve herself of the guilt she is sharing everything with you - to keep it transparent - still - you don't want to hear it and I completely understand.

Be firm with your boundaries.