I am the one who feels detached

[thewife]

Funny how we allow ourselves even without being aware of it to slowly become detached in our relationships. I went back, big mistake, big big, but anyway,since I have returned I am the detached one. I just dont care but cant seem to get the gumption to leave. Stuck for some reason. My dr recommended I take cymbalta to help ME cope with him. Somehow to me that just doesnt seem right either, that I have allowed this man to make me feel apathetic and trapped and accept life this way. I am sure I will feel better tomorrow for tonight I seem to be singing a lot of Kelly Clarkson and Pink ;}

[elemental]

The apathy... what are your alternatives to this? I mean is there someplace else you would like to be? Something else you think you would like to do with your life?

Remind yourself of these things. If you don't want to be there, you really don't have to be.

I read a lot of people here who say they want out but they can't leave.

Sure they can. What does it take to leave? Or alternatively what does it take to be happy?

For you, staying where you are... what does it take to be happy right there?

[SuperWaz]

Strangely I found this thread useful when feeling the same way...

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=64664.0

I am completely detached from my BPDSO and yet I am still here.  Maybe for the kids, maybe I'm now just as broken as she is, maybe I'm just scared of where she will end up if I leave (dead or in the gutter).  I just have no idea any more.

Whatever the reason, I'm there too.   Many of us are.  You're not alone in this mess.

[Clearmind]

Being undecided is difficult.

What do you want from this relationship? What is keeping you there?