dd16 has not come first

[Speedracer]

I have had ZERO time for dd. Her younger brother and sister have special needs and have needed me more. dd has been off doing her own thing and there has not been any crisis.

dd started Abilify back a few weeks ago and her moods stopped shifting on a dime. Her moods that took over the house are gone. She is acting very even keeled and flexible. I have had very little interaction with her.

Younger sister got a puppy & we are all working hard to train him.

Younger brother was bullied badly at school & is now being homeschooled while we hire an advocate & fight for his needs.

There is still a lot of stress in the home, and When all my time used to be given to dd, now I have to struggle to make time.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[griz]

Speedracer:

You have so much on your plate.  It is fine that you make time for others but also try to make time for yourself.  I am not particulary good at that but I try thanks to the good advice of all our friends here.  Both of your other children need you too. You are amazing.

Griz

[qcarolr]

speedracer - so glad that the meds are helping your DD manage her moods. This must take some pressure off the household. It is a change in family patterns - sometimes there is a comfort in what we are used to even when it is chaos.

Do you have any routine for family time - like a family meal once or twice a week? A time for each person to share a high piont of their day, and a low point of their day. My gd7 brought this idea home from a friends house. It can open up supportive conversations - if the adults can manage to be in a validating state of mind.

How to get to a calmer, centered place - what are you doing to strengthen yourself? This all takes so much energy and courage.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

qcr  

ps. puppies, good thing they are cute. Seems I choose to take on more than my share of the responsibilities - our pups are 2years and 10 months and came into our family when DD26 came back into our home then a rescue of bf's dying pup. Hang in there - they do grow up and the effort now is worth it later. How can you build family around loving this pup and taking care of it?

[Speedracer]

These are all good ideas. Thank you for your thoughts & prayer. I will try to do something for myself this weekend. I also see a therapist weekly. Family dinners, the few I try to do a week, can really be a nightmare with the different dynamics in the house. Trying to focus on some other routine that could be effective. Maybe a restaurant would be better... .