advice

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

my xNPD/BPDgf is 8 months pregnant with my child, she has pushed me away since aug. she is not telling me anything about the baby, my question is how do i get a dna test done to prove im the father when i dont know when she will give birth? she is refuseing to tell me anything.

she is saying because i havent been around i dont deserve to be involved with my daughter. what a awful illness, she ends the R/S tells me to stay away and now says i chose to not be around

[Eco]

my xNPD/BPDgf is 8 months pregnant with my child, she has pushed me away since aug. she is not telling me anything about the baby, my question is how do i get a dna test done to prove im the father when i dont know when she will give birth? she is refuseing to tell me anything.

she is saying because i havent been around i dont deserve to be involved with my daughter. what a awful illness, she ends the R/S tells me to stay away and now says i chose to not be around

[Matt]

Talk to a family law attorney, to find out what options you have legally.

Some attorneys will give a free initial consultation, or you might have to pay for half an hour of their time.  But you don't have to give them a retainer (thousands of $) til you are ready.

Start by finding out how things work where you live, for situations like yours.  For example, you might be able to file a motion with the court, to have a paternity test done.  (You might also include that, if the mother fights you on this, and the test is positive, she should pay you back the costs of the test and the lawyer.)

Once the test is done, there will be other legal aspects, to establish parenting time - who will take care of the child when.

All of that can probably be done without an attorney, but it will be hard to know what your options are without consulting at least one attorney.  You can talk to more than one - probably a good idea, to learn more, and find one you feel good about.

[ForeverDad]

Hopefully you are documenting her actions now, her shutting you out.  While she can rightfully claim she doesn't want you to be in her life, that doesn't giver her the right to later twist history and claim you didn't want the baby and wasn't interested in it.  Yet she may try to do just that.  For that reason build up documentation that you are interested in your baby and want to be involved in his/her life.

You might not want to raise the legal issues such as proving paternity until the appropriate time, whenever that is.  It's a fine line you walk, ask to be present at the birth, see the baby in the hospital, etc but not trigger an overreaction of additional blocking and obstruction.