trappeddad.
I was just in court yesterday as my soon to be ex wife filed a petition to get back in the house. And attempt to get custody of my 3 children. It only took about 15 minutes to express her rage to the judge. Who told her to curtail her anger.
After she was losing. She literally broke down in front of the judge. And proceeded to break down in front of my S10. The judge witnessed all of it. And would not hear anymore. And requested she get therapy.
Sometimes you have to do nothing to succeed. In not trying is where we fail.
I think this is a good example of where putting the disordered party into a stressful situation - which court usually is - so the judge can see for herself how the disordered party handles stress, can be very effective.
That might happen in the normal course of things. Or you might work with your lawyer to make things more stressful - within the bounds of normal court procedures. Asking her tough questions, and waiting for her answer, under oath, might do the trick, or confronting her with evidence that will make her look bad.
This might not be how some "collaborative" attorneys like to do things, but if your attorney knows much about BPD, he may understand the need to put the other party's way of dealing with stress on display.
