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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: Update: Chuckstrong the saga continues  (Read 559 times)
patientandclear
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: single
Posts: 2785



« Reply #30 on: March 23, 2013, 02:58:29 PM »

Hey Chuck.  You rock!  Very strong indeed.  Good for you.  Of the available options, this is the least rotten.

NC doesn't have to be forever.  When you have more distance you may want to be in touch & the contact may actually help you to accept who and how she is, because you can watch it with a little more dispassionate perspective.  That has happened for me after getting back in touch with my ex.

But first you have to be more solid yourself and not be hoping for something from her.  That's a ways off for you.  It took me 10 months.

You know she won't actually be closer if you reach out.  She will feel so very far away if she is perfunctory and superficially kind.  Nothing lonelier than that.

P&C

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RedCandle
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« Reply #31 on: March 23, 2013, 07:06:31 PM »

Chuck... .  print out all of your threads and keep them next to your phone.

The next time you are overcome with the urge to contact her or respond to her... .  READ them. Make it a rule.

When you see how this cycle has turned out each and every time, you will give yourself a huge gift... .  a chance to reflect and realize that stepping back into the cycle will only keep you on the roller coaster.
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