Need Support

[Being Mindful]

Hello to all,

I could use some support and prayers. I am tired, very tired. My dh has long term health problems and about 3 weeks ago got bronchitis. Because of his underlying health issues, when he gets sick, he gets very sick. He still has not recovered and in fact, last Friday became worse again. My youngest is on her third round of upper respiratory stuff with a run of strep mixed in. My BPD.d is not stable right now. We are self-employed so I've been carrying the weight of the business, plus care giver to dh and youngest daughter all while trying to keep my skills steady with my d. I'm finding that more difficult of course because I am tired and stressed. My BPD.d can immediately pick up on that and takes that in which ups her neediness of "it's all about me".

I know this will pass. DH and youngest d. will become well again. Business will survive etc. etc. I'm exhausted and calling in my sister for support. Saw my T. this past Monday and had a monster cry. Refreshed in my mind with my T. on my boundaries. So, I'm trying to do good things for myself, then was reminded by my kindred spirit here that I hadn't come to this board for support.

HELP!

Being Mindful

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[opheliasmom]

Dear Being Mindful,  So sorry you are having such a difficult time.  Spring is on its way and I am thinking of you.   

[griz]

BeingMindful:

I send you prayer, support and a big hug.  Wish I could do more.   

[lbjnltx]

Hello Being Mindful    ... .  Monster size to you!

Prayers offered up for endurance and focus.  Nurture yourself with purpose and love.

Take the time to rest lest you become ill yourself.  You are the primary care giver to so many in your life.  They need you to be kind to yourself ... .  even when they don't know that.

Take a break from ALL your duties when needed and keep reaching out for support here and from family.

 

lbj

[suchsadness]

Hi Being Mindful   

Thinking of you and wishing good things for you and your family.  It's so hard when you reach the point of exhaustion and stress... .  I hope you will be able to take some time for yourself.  Take care and know that we (your friends at BPD family) are here to support you.   

[qcarolr]

Sometimes I want to cry out "Where is MY caregiver :'(" when tired, sick, stressed beyond what I think is bearable. Yet, like you say, things do get better.

Sounds like you are doing some things for yourself with your sister, T and review of boundary goals. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers too.

qcr  

[Eclaire5]

You do sound exhausted and will have you in prayers tonight for sure. I’m trying to pray the Rosary every night, and noticed it has helped to go to bed calmer and more hopeful. Just make sure you take a little time to yourself and make it a point to be your own caregiver at least half an hour per day, to do something that relaxes you or that you enjoy. Keep in mind that this too shall pass!

[Being Mindful]

Thanks everyone! Your support today has meant alot. I've been at work and have been checking in periodically to read your posts.

Tonight, dh and youngest d. are well enough to fend for dinner on their own which is stopping at Subway. I'm going out for a light dinner by myself and then doing a quick stop at one of my favorite stores where I have a really good discount coupon that will expire soon. I don't need a thing but who wants a discount to go unused... .  right?

Being Mindful

[lbjnltx]

Sounds nice!

 

[peaceplease]

Being mindful,

 .  Hope all will be back to norm, soon.  I have been feeling sick, myself.  So, please take care that you do not get sick.  And, if you do, let others take care of you.  My dh has been taking over what I usually do.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.  

 

peaceplease

[DreamLight]

 

Draw strength from our togetherness in this journey.

-Thinking of you,

         DreamLight

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[MomofBPDAZ]

Hello. I hope you're able to draw strength from reading all the replies to your post and realize that there are lots of us out here who understand how exhausting it can all be at times. Although it's really hard to establish boundaries and take care of yourself when you have a BPD in the family, it's really important to take care of yourself. Here's what I've done, and it seems to be working. When my daughter needs me, I try really hard to "be present" and available to help in whatever way I can. But, when things are calm, I try not to worry obsessively about her and her family. I make a point to do "normal" things. I go about my life and try to fill my days with activities that bring me joy and peace... .  read a good book, make plans with friends, go shopping, to a movie, or take a ride. And, when the craziness returns, I take comfort in reading and connecting with all the lovely people on these message boards. Hope this helps a little. Blessings to you and everyone who  has a mentally ill loved one.

[Being Mindful]

Thank you everyone.   

I had chicken noodle soup and salad at Panera (for those of you who know the restaurant), then hit my favorite little shop. I tried on a bunch of clothes, but in the end decided I'd like a nice new pair of PJ's, something comfortable, enveloping, cozy, comforting. So, that's what I did. You know, new pj's can sort of be like underwear in that sometimes you recognize that it is really time to get some new ones. And, it's amazing how good you feel in new ones. Went home with them, put them on, felt snuggly warm and enveloped in comfort. Poured a glass of wine and that was my night.

Sadly today, I am getting sick. I'm at work for just a short time, then I'm going home to sleep. I don't feel horrible, but I don't feel great. Figured, if I can get rest, I might not get too sick.

Thanks for all your support and encouragement.

Being Mindful

[jellibeans]

oh noo... .  I hope you are not getting sick! Well at least you have those new pi's to lounge in!

I am taking a parent class for DBT and we were just discussing this very topic... .  here are some things to think of... .  

1) Daily self care... .  what are you doing on a daily basis just for you? Now this can be a little thing... .  I like to buy my favorite treat... .  I love pate... .  it is a small thing but when I have moment to sit and have some on some fresh bread... .  I become very aware that this is something I am doing for me... .  find something you can do daily that signals in your head that this is just for you... .  

2) Ways to increase positive emotions(short and long term)

short - humor... .  look at You Tube at funny videos/ music/ or how about something creative? Get on pinterest and find a little project

long- work on future plans... .  vacation... .  something to look forward to...

3)self soothing activities... .  how about a nice hot bath with some bath salts? or music or some deep breathing... .  

4)... .  your BPD family... .  take care of yourself... .  rest and I hope you are better tomorrow... .     

[qcarolr]

Being Mindful - wouldn't it be nice if someone would carry a nice bowl of that awsome chicken noodle soup to you an a tray with a rose and cup of tea? Who would that most likely be in your home?

February - the season of viruses. YIKES. So many out sick around here too. Take extra care. Thinking of you  

qcr  

[Being Mindful]

Being Mindful - wouldn't it be nice if someone would carry a nice bowl of that awsome chicken noodle soup to you an a tray with a rose and cup of tea? Who would that most likely be in your home?

February - the season of viruses. YIKES. So many out sick around here too. Take extra care. Thinking of you  

qcr  

Hi qc, That would be my husband or youngest d. to bring me soup, but both of them are still under the weather. I'm outta here now, going home to rest. Being Mindful

[oglobaith]

Thinking of you and praying that you'll be uplifted and supported.  I've been reminded today that taking time to talk to my Heavenly Father and listening to Him daily is the greatest way I can be uplifted.  It's often hard to prioritise that time, but there was no-one busier than Jesus helping people and He managed it.      Hope you're feeling well soon

[pessim-optimist]

  Hi Being Mindful!

How's it going today? Did you have an opportunity to rest over the weekend? Are you doing better? How about your h and d?

[vivekananda]

Hi Being Mindful   

We must inhabit alternate worlds or something. My dh had the flu very bad... .  seriously bad and we woried about chest infections for him (he is immuno suppressed) and staying well for me. I have been fighting off low level infections for almost 2 weeks now (that darned cruise!)

Apart from panadine to reduce fever and pain, I made sure we 1) drank lots of water with lemon 2) changed the linen when sweating got too much 3) applied 'Tiger Balm' liberally around neck and chest - it is a herbal ointment made in Singapore and available all over the world - it is one of those miracle ointments 4) bought a special soup from Vietnam called 'Pho' it is better than the best clear chicken soup 4) took vitamin C 5) rested and then rested again - I let/am letting everything else go.

Hubby's now on the mend and I am still malingering with low level fatigue and minimal symptoms. I hope you are the same, that is out of the danger zone.

Take care BM, look after yourself    (non infectious hugs)   

[Being Mindful]

Hi Vive,

Glad to see you back. Hope you enjoyed your cruise. We cruise a fair amount and love it.

I am definitely on the mend. I got lots of rest, drank tea with honey, gargled with salt water and Listerine. Sunday I started feeling much better and today I'm doing very well.

Thanks!   

[vivekananda]

goodoh 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders