Hi Lost_husband... . Your wife reminds me so much in ways of EXTREME behavior and Obsessive Compulsive/Controlling the environment of my uBPDso... . If my uBPDso would do all that your w has done after being in counseling, on meds and telling him that I am ready to leave... . I wouldn't believe it either. It is just the "other extreme" and an OC fix, imho... . at least that is what I think it is for my uBPDso.
She may feel controlled by you and throw that in your face when the resentment that "she HAD to change" for you doesn't work out for her. With her OC, this may work for a while.
Has counseling been suggested FOR her alone? Or like other pwBPD, does she "not have the problem" and it is all you?
Learning how NOT to ride the emotional BPD rollercoaster of emotions has helped me the most. The push/pull including the sex was most awful for me as well... . Sex usually is pretty fantastic (passionate and wild) with our pwBPD... .
Take care of yourself and BE CAREFUL of starting a relationship with the "friend", it is SO easy to "fall for" someone who is giving us the respect, nurturing and affirmation that our pwBPDs CANNOT. Good luck... .
She has in the past throw it back in my face. I am waiting for the breaking point in her OC "high"
We have gone together twice to see the MC but separate one time each. I was referred to as "Normal" and told I do not deserve such treatment. This was in especial consideration of my job which is Law Enforcement. Some of the things I deal with at work are VERY stressful. Yet at work i can let it slip by with no problem. But when I come home it is entirely different reaction. My home can be very stressful.
After she got back from her individual appointment I asked her what all had been said. I could tell she was lying and that the meeting with the MC did not go her way. But through her lies she made the entire session out to be she was a great person who needed a little work, on how to deal with me.
She had been going to see a P prior to our agreement to do MC. She started to go upon my request after a series of small financial meltdowns she had. However she has since stopped seeing the P because she is retiring. (allegedly)
How not to ride the roller coaster... . or become part of it. Some days i feel like I am spiraling down the same path. I read some of the articles on here and notice some similarities in myself. I know better that that's not me. I take the surveys and they generally are negative in their results.
So do i just quit the sex cold turkey? Gee that will suck!
Trying... . but this is hard... . not to fall for the support.
