XH won't sign house agreement- of course.

[JDoe]

Why did I think he would?

The realtor says he looked it over and had his attorney look it over and they think he should have 3-6 months to "try to refinance" and "certainly no penalties."

When I asked what assurance I would have that he would ever do it, she said, "Well, none, I guess."

So, just like every other thing relating to that sorry piece of crap XH, nothing ever goes my way.  Except the day I left him. 

Not really sure what to do right now, but feel like punching something.

[GaGrl]

Rescind the offer.

[ForeverDad]

Rescind the offer.

Yes.  If the offer didn't have an acceptance date, then be sure to rescind it officially.  (You don't want them to claim to the judge your offer is still pending and they need more time to decide whether to accept it.)  And get the judge to do something with teeth and real limits and consequences besides a stern look, wagging a finger at him and scheduling another hearing in another couple months.  By this time literally almost anything a judge rules would be better than the endless delays ex is doing with near impunity.

Walk into the hearing with a motion or proposed order, legally written, setting out the terms you want the court to order and hand it to the judge.  If the judge doesn't like any portions, then the judge can stike them out or rewrite them.  The point is to get a written order made while you're still right there before the judge.  Avoid a verbal order that the lawyers are to put in writing later, pass back and forth endlessly to get everyone to agree and then sign, that is a recipe for even more delays and a sure return back to court yet again.

That's why we have courts... .  to get things done that the parties can't get done themselves.

If the court wants you to keep trying, say you already did.  Based on the history, you will be back again and again, clogging up judge's court calendar, until the judge does what a judge is supposed to do.

[JDoe]

Thanks GG and FD.  According to my L, I can spend several hundred dollars to take XH to court to "show cause" or explain to the magistrate why he is not complying with the final orders (to sell the house and split the proceeds).  My L, who doesn't understand BPD or any personality disorder, really, says that as long as XH is paying the mortgage and the house is on the market, there's really nothing else we can do.

Which I placed squarely on the L.  "No, it doesn't seem that there is, since my request to make the orders detailed and enforceable was ignored."  He is "sorry that you aren't happy with how things turned out." 

I sent an agreement to the realtor that said XH has 90 days to refinance in his name and pay me, then I will sign the quitclaim.  If/when XH signs that, and nothing happens in 90 days, I will take that document to court on my own.  And if something does happen at or near the 90 days, I will wash my hands of him and get the best revenge by living happily ever after. 

[ForeverDad]

Is there any scheduled court appearance before the 3 months are up?  If not, then be aware that if you wait 3 months and he still does nothing and you then file, it may take another month or two to get a hearing date, such as August or even later.  I suggest you file sooner, maybe within the next month, for a court date.  He's already violated the current order.  Just because you made an offer doesn't mean anything because he hasn't accepted it. That would likely put you walking into court right about the time you gave ex to comply.  Of course, he can still ask for a continuance or two and you still would have longer to wait, but do try to be proactive, don't sit on your hands for the next 3 months.  Having something pending in court may be enough incentive, not likely, but maybe.

[JDoe]

Our divorce was final last June.  There is no court date at all, unless I want to sue him to show cause, which he could easily do, because the final orders just said that the house would be sold and profits split, not WHEN.  And since he is paying the mortgage and the house is up for sale, I have no legal leg to stand on.

[ForeverDad]

Motion to compel?  Even if Lawyer Dufus failed to specify a time frame and consequences, common sense says there would be an expectation of resolution within a reasonable amount of time.  (Yeah, I know, common sense doesn't apply in courts.)  Have you gotten a couple legal consultations with other lawyers?

Bad faith (not a serious seller)... .  

You have no access to your marital equity and no assurance when you will see it, if ever... .  

Leaves you exposed to ongoing risks of the property ownership, liability and financing... .  

I believe the last one is your most compelling reason to go to court, though I'm no legal expert.

[seeking balance]

Hi JDoe,

I want to make sure I have the facts.

1. he doesn't have a job

2. he has not even given you prequal approval

3. what is the term of the offer he gave you - most offers have a closing date expected.

3. your attorney seems to not really care

4. the house is actively on the market


OSC is your only real option, but if the house is up for sale you will need the realtor to suggest he is not making the house available to show in your OSC motion. Exactly what does the realtor say about the housing market.  You can get other offers, right?

At this rate, you have no leverage on getting your $ out of the house do you?  

SB

[Waddams]

Can you ask for a modification of the divorce orders to specify a time frame by which the house issue needs to be resolved?  and if not, then XH owes you a dollar amount that is somehow determined by means specified in the modification?  You deserve your marital equity and to be free of the property.

[JDoe]

Hi, SB!  Hope all is well with you!

1. he doesn't have a job realtor says she heard that he is working

2. he has not even given you prequal approval right, feared I was "nosing in (his) business"

3. what is the term of the offer he gave you I was given a math equation by the realtor, written out by XH (no, not in crayon  )

3. your attorney seems to not really care not sure if he ever really did, except to get paid

4. the house is actively on the market yes, it has been since June, 2012

The housing market is crappy, realtor would likely say, "Well, Mr. JDoe was having trouble moving forward and gave reasons why he could not show the house, but he sounds much better now and I really think he wants to get this taken care of."  Unfortunately, she pities him.  Which means he can do whatever he wants and she will help, because she feels bad for the poor guy. 

He is paying the mortgage.  If he wasn't, I'd be seeing other attorneys and doing whatever I had to.  Technically, he is doing what he agreed to do. 

Yep, I have no leverage.  Which is why I'm agreeing to the 90 days and the less-than-fair $ offered.   He could live there for the next 20 years, with the house on the market, but unsold, and still be within the letter of the law.  Stinks, but so did the 20 years I spent with him, mostly. 

Thanks, FD!  You have good points.  If I had the time and money and energy to go after him, as well as any hope of a larger amount of the equity $, I'd do it.  As it is, I am managing a busy medical practice, including new electronic record system, planning a wedding, and working to make lots of good memories with my mom before I move out.    Oh, yeah, and I know XH.  He will weasle his way out of anything he can to screw me over.  He'll never change.

[seeking balance]

Does the divorce decree state your ex to buy the house or the house to be sold and profits split?

This is fundamental difference as to what your options are.

[JDoe]

It says it is to be sold and the profits split.  Will have to look for the exact wording.  But I do know there's no time limit on it.

[seeking balance]

It says it is to be sold and the profits split.  Will have to look for the exact wording.  But I do know there's no time limit on it.

so, if your ex is buying it - he should put in the offer formally that included deadlines like any other offer.

Perhaps it is time you bring in a new, aggressive realtor.  Is she doing open houses, does she have a strategy for selling?  Honestly, your H making an offer is no different than anyone else really.

[ForeverDad]

I've read some members' posts where they describe they can't get the ex to file the quit claim to get them off the deed or can't get them to actually refinance and that is slower than pouring molasses in January.

However, you haven't received your portion of marital equity and I believe that is a different matter and one the court may be more inclined to do something about.  You are owed your money, however much or little.  Only a sale can determine the exact amount.  (Don't settle for an offer to "just buy you out", it isn't enough since it wouldn't force a refinance and you could still be left with liability for the existing mortgage.)  I could be wrong, but that unpaid marital equity due you may be leverage to get action.

[hell0kitty]

We had a similar experience with trying to finish up some loose ends with their business.  She had nothing to gain, but just decided to draw it out as long as possible and then at the 11th hour refused to sign after having "experts" look it over.  She said she was going to let us "screw her over" so instead things defaulted and no one got anything.

She always puts stuff off to "think about things" and then will always come back with a no or a non answer when her deadline is up.  Happened with mediation too.

[GaGrl]

My DH had to press for 4 years after his divorce from The Dark Princess because she never filed the Quit Claim and we were getting the property tax notices.  We thought he was going to have to take her to the courthouse d hold her hand as she signed the title transfer. Fortunately her BF did the honor.

[JDoe]

SB- No open houses.  XH would not approve one.  We signed a contract with this realtor, I think it goes through Aug or Sept.  And he has not offered to buy the house, just to buy my interest in it.  I will NOT sign anything until I see that he has refinanced and my name is NOT on the mortgage, thus removing any chance of the mortgage company coming after me if XH decides to quit paying it.

Really, I want to be finished with him.  If it takes this, and he actually does it, it will be priceless.

[ForeverDad]

Maybe that's his undeclared strategy, drag his feet so long you'll accept anything, even nothing. :'(