1 Month Post Breakup

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Well it's been a month to the day since I kicked my dBPDexgf out of my home. She's full on back into her meth/alcohol addiction now. Guess that inpatient rehab didn't help her out. She's still dating the guy she started talking to randomly just prior to me ending it, not to mention a whole host of other men.

I haven't heard a single peep out of her, which is odd, every time in the past when I would enforce my boundary and kick her out she'd re-engage within a week, EVEN when she was with other men. Now here I am scratching my head why this is different, she's been engaging all her other ex's/lovers, but me she blocked and hasn't bothered with any contact. Why am I different? Is it because I'm the only boyfriend that actually did everything to better her life? (I can say this is a true statement, all her other ex's were meth users).

That being said, I'm not sure if I should hang around [L2] anymore. I mean after a month of no contact efforts at all from her, I'm starting to think it will not come. What do you all think? I mean her past pattern with me and all her other ex's made me believe the possibilities of reconciliation were possible. But now I'm skeptical.

[rockhardabsman]

Well it's been a month to the day since I kicked my dBPDexgf out of my home. She's full on back into her meth/alcohol addiction now. Guess that inpatient rehab didn't help her out. She's still dating the guy she started talking to randomly just prior to me ending it, not to mention a whole host of other men.

I haven't heard a single peep out of her, which is odd, every time in the past when I would enforce my boundary and kick her out she'd re-engage within a week, EVEN when she was with other men. Now here I am scratching my head why this is different, she's been engaging all her other ex's/lovers, but me she blocked and hasn't bothered with any contact. Why am I different? Is it because I'm the only boyfriend that actually did everything to better her life? (I can say this is a true statement, all her other ex's were meth users).

That being said, I'm not sure if I should hang around [L2] anymore. I mean after a month of no contact efforts at all from her, I'm starting to think it will not come. What do you all think? I mean her past pattern with me and all her other ex's made me believe the possibilities of reconciliation were possible. But now I'm skeptical.

[inepted]

I have the same dilema as you right now. Its been little over a month now since we broke up. She's been seeing some creep she thats been bringing out all kinds of bad behaviors and leading down a bad path. I had hoped we would be able to work things out, but she just keeps making it more and more imposible.

Ive been getting some strange mixed messages from her. She's emphasized to me none of her new 'friends' are dating material, and anything thats happening is "just casual sex" between them. And for the last week she's been reengaging me in contact. Messaging me, etc. Even thats cryptic though. Today for example? She instant messaged me a link to some artwork she found online from a video game we've been talking about lately. No text, no description, just a link to a picture.

She's made no real effort to be much of anything though. Most of the time she still acts cold, ignoring my texts, then the next she's a little flirty again. Maybe she's just trying to be friends. Or maybe she's just trying to keep me nearby if things dont work out with her new group. But its nothing like her past patterns of behavior though, so at this point Im getting a little skeptical too if things will ever move out of this weird limbo Im in. Im getting close to just throwing in the towel and moving on.

[rockhardabsman]

Well at least you were getting some engagement, although negative. I've gotten zilch.

As far as the revenge side of me, I find it ironic she's breaking her felony probation daily and isn't getting nabbed for it. Some people do truly escape Karma's grasp. Well I guess it's not revenge. She has a 3 year prison sentence looming over her for abusing me, hitting me... .  I guess I only hope she gets nabbed for a couple reasons, her destructive behavior wont impact anyone else for a long time, and hopefully the long time behind bars would possible cause her to re-evaluate her life.

Maybe I'm not being contacted because she's back on meth/alcohol again and is "enjoying it" for now and knows I don't stand for that at all after trying so hard to get her clean. I dunno that's my thought.

[rockhardabsman]

It never ceases to amaze me how easily forgotten and replaceable you are, even after 1 1/2 years together. You would think after living such a crappy life, then having it really good, just to go right back to a crappy life of meth/alcohol being broke and having nothing to look forward to would be a wakeup. But guess it isn't.