Feelers ?

[laelle]

Actually it was SadWifeofBPD who told you all that 

I am glad tho that you have caught on to something that could be keeping you stuck in your relationship. 

[wanttoknowmore]

Thank you sad wife ,

you have helped me immensely by your insight .I was searching for answers for last 4 weeks and couldnot see the cause of my being stuck. It makes so much sense to me.

[laelle]

I saw myself in my exbf.  I always felt a little off, emotionally a bit immature, needy, misunderstood and my mother did not love me unconditionally.  I was rarely hugged.  I was never good enough.

My ex is mentally ill, emotionally immature, needy, misunderstood and his mother was never there for him.

I felt by helping him out I was helping the little girl inside of me who was misunderstood and never loved for who she was. I gave him love, compassion and all those things but I felt more comfortable giving him things that I really knew how to give, because that was how my mom showed me that she loved me.  Through giving "gifts"

It was excusable when he treated me badly because I was never good enough in my moms eyes either.  I deserved it.

The adult in me knows all that above is crap.  There is no reason to let another person treat you badly.  I will keep my things to myself,

take some time to figure out how to give love the right way, and one day have a healthy relationship.

[wanttoknowmore]

I certainly feel good helping people who need me and in my profession,lots of people do need me and I do a good job and get a lot of satisfaction. I recall how I got involved with pwBPD. She just broke up with her Ex. She was very sad ,crying and looked fragile and saying with her beautiful eyes... I know you can save me... please rescue me... take away my pain. I felt a sudden surge of sympathy and compassion .In a few days,I kissed her on forehead and she uncontrollably kissed me on lips.I was not prepared for this and was surprised. She was smiling and feeling very happy and relieved and gave me look of gratitude. This is how it all started and then,escalated further. We became two peas in a pod and almost merged emotionally into one. I was center of her life for over a year and then, started the push pull dance and hater came out but she seemed like fighting the hate and the love for me... lots of mixed emotions and mixed messages. She shared a lot about herself and her family ,but then,got very scared about sharing so much with me. Felt engulfed and wanted to run away from me. I felt nuts and I am suffering the separation pain at this point. It was a very powerful experience.