Have you gone through a parenting eval?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

We are at the start of one right now.  We turned in all of the paperwork and question-airs within 10 days of getting them just like it said.  We just got a final notice letter stating that BPDmom still has not turned in her paperwork and she has 5 days or they will move forward with just ours. 

I've searched around and can't seem to find any info on what happens if they move forward with only 1 parent's paperwork.  It seems like it would obvs be good in our favor.  But what experience have any of you had?  Is it common for BPDs not to do their part of the eval?  Is there a possible strategy I am missing here by her not turning hers in?  This was her 2nd notice and it was very boldly marked FINAL NOTICE. 

[hell0kitty]

We are at the start of one right now.  We turned in all of the paperwork and question-airs within 10 days of getting them just like it said.  We just got a final notice letter stating that BPDmom still has not turned in her paperwork and she has 5 days or they will move forward with just ours. 

I've searched around and can't seem to find any info on what happens if they move forward with only 1 parent's paperwork.  It seems like it would obvs be good in our favor.  But what experience have any of you had?  Is it common for BPDs not to do their part of the eval?  Is there a possible strategy I am missing here by her not turning hers in?  This was her 2nd notice and it was very boldly marked FINAL NOTICE. 

[david]

I didn't have that happen but I would think it is good for you and the kids.

My guess would be that BPDmom feels like this is a control issue or is having abandonment fears because the paperwork is another step towards a reality that she doesn't want to face.

[livednlearned]

I would guess that it's like a parking ticket. One or two doesn't seem to matter much in family court, but when they start to stack up, she will face consequences.

Is there a hearing on the calendar to consider the parenting eval? My guess is that she will show (or her L), they will explain why they haven't done the parenting eval, the judge will say ":)o it by next time I see you or else it will affect custody of the kids."

Can you ask your L if there is a motion you can file? I could not have done that in my situation because the psych eval was not court ordered.

[ForeverDad]

Her lack of response will count against her.

Unless... .   she later rushes in, due date missed, claiming blah-blah-blah (she was out of the country, her mailman was on strike, her mailbox fell down, whatever) and finally submitting a late response.  And probably they'll allow it.  So much for final notices.

She is not a child, she is an adult.  An adult is expected to be a responsible person and ought to suffer deserved consequences.  How else will she learn there are limits?

... .   Something we often say here, The misbehaving spouse seldom has consequences and the behaving spouse seldom gets credit.

[DreamGirl]

I can say this with little emotional reaction then when I was actually going thru it, but "deadlines" tend to be more like "guidelines" in family court.

I never witnessed a consequence, outside a verbal annoyance by the Judge, in not completing paperwork. Even the financials were submitted the day of the trial, even after a Motion to Compel was filed, and there was no consequence.

I don't think it helped him much, but it certainly wasn't the determining factor.

Hopefully her lawyer will encourage her to get her butt in gear, I'd hate to have to represent a client who didn't submit her paperwork in time.