Feeling myself getting sucked back in...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My court date with my Ex uBPD GF is next Wed. She has pretty much remained no contact with me, smearing campaign on facebook, sending emails about how I stole the kids. yesterday, she called me. Gave some excuse, then told me she was working on forgiving me for taking the kids. This led to several arguments, hurt feelings, her crying/me crying. Last night I got a text how she missed the kids. Today another phone call. I think she is starting to get worried that she will lose next week and never see the kids again. A part of me feels like she feels bad about how this relationship ended, but that might be me projecting what I want to hear, as well as her telling me what she thinks I want to hear. I am taking my kids on a cruise May 1st, Lord knows we deserve it! She actually said "if I win next Wed, I will let you take the kids on the cruise IF you buy me a ticket to go too". That actually made me laugh... .   for alot of reasons. One, I had hoped when i booked it things would work out and this would be over and she could go... .   stupid I know. Two, you think I should pay for YOUR cruise after you take me to court over my kids? I told her I am sure the judge would understand and let me take the kids during that time. I also brought up her drinking, she is an alcoholic, and she completely minimized it. Suddenly, she doesn't have a problem.  Anyway, I know this is all smoke and mirrors... .   I do honestly feel bad about taking the kids out of her life completely, yet don't want to make a bad decision either. Also i don't know if my desire to let her see the kids is so I can see her.

The other thing is the communication over the last 2 days has stirred up those feelings, like an addict must feel when their drug of choice is there. The whole high of the interaction. I don't want that! I know where this leads! I wish I didn't feel that way.

[PattyG]

My court date with my Ex uBPD GF is next Wed. She has pretty much remained no contact with me, smearing campaign on facebook, sending emails about how I stole the kids. yesterday, she called me. Gave some excuse, then told me she was working on forgiving me for taking the kids. This led to several arguments, hurt feelings, her crying/me crying. Last night I got a text how she missed the kids. Today another phone call. I think she is starting to get worried that she will lose next week and never see the kids again. A part of me feels like she feels bad about how this relationship ended, but that might be me projecting what I want to hear, as well as her telling me what she thinks I want to hear. I am taking my kids on a cruise May 1st, Lord knows we deserve it! She actually said "if I win next Wed, I will let you take the kids on the cruise IF you buy me a ticket to go too". That actually made me laugh... .   for alot of reasons. One, I had hoped when i booked it things would work out and this would be over and she could go... .   stupid I know. Two, you think I should pay for YOUR cruise after you take me to court over my kids? I told her I am sure the judge would understand and let me take the kids during that time. I also brought up her drinking, she is an alcoholic, and she completely minimized it. Suddenly, she doesn't have a problem.  Anyway, I know this is all smoke and mirrors... .   I do honestly feel bad about taking the kids out of her life completely, yet don't want to make a bad decision either. Also i don't know if my desire to let her see the kids is so I can see her.

The other thing is the communication over the last 2 days has stirred up those feelings, like an addict must feel when their drug of choice is there. The whole high of the interaction. I don't want that! I know where this leads! I wish I didn't feel that way.

[ForeverDad]

Her statements give a glimpse into her limited perceptions and disconnectedness to reality.  What reasonably normal person would think that if a case goes against you that you would feel okay giving the winner a free ticket?  Oh yeah, or else I won't let the kids go?   Best to get away and stay away when the opportunity arises.  Or else the roller coaster continues, emotionally, legally, etc.

Sadly, you can't afford to feel sorry for her, not if it means a life of living around someone able to metaphorically smile to your face while ready to stab you in the back.

[motherof1yearold]

Her statements give a glimpse into her limited perceptions and disconnectedness to reality.  What reasonably normal person would think that if a case goes against you that you would feel okay giving the winner a free ticket?  Oh yeah, or else I won't let the kids go?   Best to get away and stay away when the opportunity arises.  Or else the roller coaster continues, emotionally, legally, etc.

Sadly, you can't afford to feel sorry for her, not if it means a life of living around someone able to metaphorically smile to your face while ready to stab you in the back.

FD you just nailed that one completely! Her comment about the cruise was a huge tip off! She has the mindset to let her kids miss out on a wonderful cruise if she "isn't invited (and paid for!) "