Settlement close

[lost007]

Settlement agreed upon. Supposed to be signed next week(divorce decree). Now my stbexBPDw is demanding some extra money for expenses. She just got a job and has relied on me exclusively while separated. Afraid things will derail if I don't give in. My attorney advises against. She is still on very shaky ground. Vascilating still between idealization. Gratitude. Then on the other hand entitlement and rage. Pissed she is having to move out of my, pre marriage was my house, house. Dysregulating easily. Could hand over the money hoping it will get me to the finish line or stand firm and deny it knowing deal could blow up. Been working on this for months. Actually I have been working on it. She has been working on stalling hoping I would return. It just never stops. Comments?

[lost007]

And I forgot. I have been very concerned about her vindictive nature. She has info she is essentially using to emotionally blackmail me with undercurrents of actual blackmail. She did blackmail me once and I went back. Even after that. Only peace I got at that time was threatening to prosecute her. She has been a tad more cautious this time.

[ForeverDad]

Does she want money now or at the signing?  (Silly question, we all know she wants it now.  However the problem is that paying anything now removes any leverage to get it signed next week, and she would still have a week to make new demands.)

I would tend to side with your lawyer, it risks enabling her to ask for even more, but you know your situation better than I would.

• Would denying extra money derail the agreement?



• Would paying extra money now leave the agreement vulnerable to more demands?



• Would paying extra money when the agreement is signed and filed/ordered work?

Of them all, I think only the last one might work.  If you decide to do that, should you counter with a lesser amount?  Should it be penned into the settlement there at that time and initialled by all parties rather than be something outside the agreement?

[marbleloser]

Ditto! Nothing till after she signs.

[lost007]

FD. I decided to give it to her. Not too much money. Paperwork will be ready Monday. I do know she has limited resources. Her On my way! Doing mind you. Could have been working. Could have accepted deal weeks ago but stalled. Still and yet her atty contacted mine today and accepted settlement. Without the money she can't finish moving out of my house. Really no right answer here. Could be wrong thing to do. I'll see soon enough. She really got agitated last night. Now that she knows money is coming she is back to nice. Sending nude photos to me. As if none of the evil things she said last night even matter. Some things never change. When this financial tie is severed I will have some peace at least. Getting her to leave me alone?  Another story.

[lost007]

Should say her own doing mind you.