Update on our situation

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

We were supposed to go to court tomorrow because BPD mom wants her garnished tax return back AND she wanted to force dh and DSD to use the counselor she tainted against us who is not on our insurance.  This is dh's birthday weekend--he is sure she picked this day to have the court date on purpose.  But alas, her plans were foiled.

Apparently, her lawyer did not notify the GAL or the child support office about her hearing, and the GAL could not come so it was passed.  According to our lawyer, the GAL was ticked that he was not notified, which I find interesting since he is never upset with her or her side for anything (maybe it is a hot button for lawyers not to get notified).  The other interesting thing is the GAL had found out about the rumors going around that BPD mom had spread (with the help of her lawyer) that I was sleeping around with lawyers, including ours.  He apologized to our lawyer that the rumor was going around, and he said he had not heard it, but if he does hear it, he will say something.  Now, I do not know if the GAL is tying the rumor to BPD mom, but he may be.  Our lawyer and the GAL have a good mutual friend, and the GAL heard about it through their mutual friend.

The GAL is finally open to us using a different counselor who is on our insurance.  If we can get that in place before the new hearing (in over a month), that would be great. 

One thing that was interesting was that our lawyer said that BPD mom's lawyer was acting all dramatic and hysterical about everything (our lawyer is pretty laid back)----makes me wonder if lawyers often match their client's personality.   

[sanemom]

We were supposed to go to court tomorrow because BPD mom wants her garnished tax return back AND she wanted to force dh and DSD to use the counselor she tainted against us who is not on our insurance.  This is dh's birthday weekend--he is sure she picked this day to have the court date on purpose.  But alas, her plans were foiled.

Apparently, her lawyer did not notify the GAL or the child support office about her hearing, and the GAL could not come so it was passed.  According to our lawyer, the GAL was ticked that he was not notified, which I find interesting since he is never upset with her or her side for anything (maybe it is a hot button for lawyers not to get notified).  The other interesting thing is the GAL had found out about the rumors going around that BPD mom had spread (with the help of her lawyer) that I was sleeping around with lawyers, including ours.  He apologized to our lawyer that the rumor was going around, and he said he had not heard it, but if he does hear it, he will say something.  Now, I do not know if the GAL is tying the rumor to BPD mom, but he may be.  Our lawyer and the GAL have a good mutual friend, and the GAL heard about it through their mutual friend.

The GAL is finally open to us using a different counselor who is on our insurance.  If we can get that in place before the new hearing (in over a month), that would be great. 

One thing that was interesting was that our lawyer said that BPD mom's lawyer was acting all dramatic and hysterical about everything (our lawyer is pretty laid back)----makes me wonder if lawyers often match their client's personality.   

[hell0kitty]

Looking at my own history, I have no doubt the birthday week was picked on purpose.  Just like our BPD ALWAYS does every REALLY weird thing on Valentine's Day every year. like clockwork. 

[Her Mama]

Wow.  I'm glad the GAL is catching on though I wish it didn't have to come by him finding out because your reputation is being attacked.  Civil suit for slander or defamation of character?  And yup, you know this was a purposeful attempt to ruin his birthday.  Likely why there wasn't time to notify all the appropriate parties. 

[ForeverDad]

Besides the emotional significance for the ex, could it be the common spitball strategy?  Kids in school quickly learn, throw enough spitballs at the wall and odds are something will stick.  (And with enough of them flying, the teacher will get distracted and be unable to pick out the instigator.)  If ex made just one claim, the answer might be a simple No.  But make many claims and the odds of at least something being granted, even partially, like throwing a bone, probably go up.  And that would be a Pavlovian 'reward' outshining all the other claims that were denied.

[sanemom]

Besides the emotional significance for the ex, could it be the common spitball strategy?  Kids in school quickly learn, throw enough spitballs at the wall and odds are something will stick.  (And with enough of them flying, the teacher will get distracted and be unable to pick out the instigator.)  If ex made just one claim, the answer might be a simple No.  But make many claims and the odds of at least something being granted, even partially, like throwing a bone, probably go up.  And that would be a Pavlovian 'reward' outshining all the other claims that were denied.

I am not quite sure what she is doing... .  all I can say is that she is getting increasingly snarky in her emails to my DH any time he has to inform her of something (and he avoids it as much as possible).  For instance, he invited her to a feedback session to discuss their son's testing results (she didn't want him tested despite the school and his counselor's recommendation).  She initially did not respond for days, but when he later sent her the actual location, she wrote back that she would not be able to go and "we will be sending a legal request for records."  Uh... .  or he could just give you the report?  He wrote back, "No worries... . I will send you the report." 

She can't stand to be in the same auditorium as us during a kid's performance and huffed herself out of there... .  we were not even that close to her. 

So I guess her increased irritability is a sign that she the court date being moved is making her mad for whatever reason.