Biased counselor may be helping anyway...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

DSD's BPD mom found a counselor to beef up her court case, and told the counselor all of these lies about DH.  It was obvious when DH went to speak with her that she was biased against him.  :)H spoke with her, I sent a couple of emails detailing my concerns, but we haven't seen her since (I told her in one of the emails that I am concerned because DSD "makes denial an Olympic sport"--a phrase I read somewhere on these boards... .  ).  

She has been with this counselor for almost a year, and despite our initial concerns, it DOES seem that she is helping.  I can't pinpoint it, but I am getting a sense that DSD is understanding more about her mom and what has happened.  :)SD told my DD last week that she wanted to do something for DH"s birthday, but she didn't think her mom would let her.  She didn't bring anything for him on his birthday, but the day after her counseling session later that week, she brought him a cake.  This week DSD invited us to her dance program tonight and even texted DH reminding him this morning. She never would have done this a year ago (for whatever reason). I am guessing that the counselor has to be seeing something going on despite what BPDMom has tried to tell her.

[sanemom]

DSD's BPD mom found a counselor to beef up her court case, and told the counselor all of these lies about DH.  It was obvious when DH went to speak with her that she was biased against him.  :)H spoke with her, I sent a couple of emails detailing my concerns, but we haven't seen her since (I told her in one of the emails that I am concerned because DSD "makes denial an Olympic sport"--a phrase I read somewhere on these boards... .  ).  

She has been with this counselor for almost a year, and despite our initial concerns, it DOES seem that she is helping.  I can't pinpoint it, but I am getting a sense that DSD is understanding more about her mom and what has happened.  :)SD told my DD last week that she wanted to do something for DH"s birthday, but she didn't think her mom would let her.  She didn't bring anything for him on his birthday, but the day after her counseling session later that week, she brought him a cake.  This week DSD invited us to her dance program tonight and even texted DH reminding him this morning. She never would have done this a year ago (for whatever reason). I am guessing that the counselor has to be seeing something going on despite what BPDMom has tried to tell her.

[AnotherPhoenix]

DSD's BPD mom found a counselor to beef up her court case, and told the counselor all of these lies about DH.  It was obvious when DH went to speak with her that she was biased against him.  :)H spoke with her, I sent a couple of emails detailing my concerns, but we haven't seen her since (I told her in one of the emails that I am concerned because DSD "makes denial an Olympic sport"--a phrase I read somewhere on these boards... .  ).  

She has been with this counselor for almost a year, and despite our initial concerns, it DOES seem that she is helping.  I can't pinpoint it, but I am getting a sense that DSD is understanding more about her mom and what has happened.  :)SD told my DD last week that she wanted to do something for DH"s birthday, but she didn't think her mom would let her.  She didn't bring anything for him on his birthday, but the day after her counseling session later that week, she brought him a cake.  This week DSD invited us to her dance program tonight and even texted DH reminding him this morning. She never would have done this a year ago (for whatever reason). I am guessing that the counselor has to be seeing something going on despite what BPDMom has tried to tell her.

Wow!

That is so great. It's got to have you and dh on cloud nine!

AnotherPheonix   

[mamachelle]

sanemom,

That is so good to hear.

i have been thinking a lot about where my kids were a year ago and where they are today too. (mostly a better place   )  Also I'm kind of at a place where I wonder if my SS10 needs a new T. I know he does, but it's hard to make changes like that after 6 years with same T eesh!... .  Anyway, yes, You can give the 'biased counselor' credit but please don't forget to credit your SD and pat yourselves on the back too. Therapists are only partly responsible.

mamachelle

[DreamGirl]

Therapists are only partly responsible.

Really good point.

Therapists aren't fixers, they are simply catalysts in getting you there.

[david]

XBPDw and I went to marriage counseling before she ran away. I felt that the counselor was biased against me. We went about 6 times and then the marriage counselor suggested we come separately. I went two times and then the mc changed her way of dealing with me. I questioned why she sided with wife during our sessions. She confided that she needed to gain her trust before anything positive could occur. I went several more times and then the mc told me that I needed to get a lawyer and divorce wife. She told me I didn't need to come anymore and that she believed wife would continue. Wife continued for several months and then stopped. The mc never told me what was going on with wife but by then I found this site and things started coming together.