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VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
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Author Topic: Please assure me on an I.T. question...  (Read 556 times)
Themis
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« on: May 04, 2013, 09:52:36 AM »

Hi guys,

Haven't been here for a loong time. Ex still in house but should be out shortly and contact has been absolute minimal.

I have changed a lot since my last posts, and I have really lost interest in a lot of things to do with them. I have a huge social life, and other great news. Hopefully people that remember me will be happy to hear that. I don't intend to come here that often. I hope the friends I made here are well.

Anyway.... . I should have taken action on this a while ago, but due to tech skills being very poor and brushing it off as paranoia... .  I have been very worried about the internet connection.

I spoke to a friend in I.T. because the internet is under my name and through the physical cable they said it was fine.

But I said we both use wireless in separate rooms. I barely use the main computer as it belongs to him, and I was convinced that was more of a risk. But with clearing history and anything I've cut and paste there's not much he could glean... .  even in the event viewer as my main concern was what I do on the net.

I know he set everything up years ago---because I've always been bad with tech this never bothered me. I have always been super paranoid about spying... .  not just with him... .  because of my knowledge that yes if they wanted to certain people can spy on you.

But you have to be important so I don't worry about that so much these days, and have many private emails and go on this forum in peace.

So I thought I was better off using my own laptop which has a password on it, and keep in my room. The door has no lock.

Anyway that turned out to be a bad idea as last week I asked him about the net, and computer stuff. He is taking the wireless router with him as that belongs to him... .  

I can't remember as I was sure that was a gift. I thought it ran off the main computer and internet. But that's his wireless!

I forgot about that.

So he has the passwords for everything, and used to work in I.T. Am I doomed?

I've done some research and looked at info on illegal things like wiresharks etc... .  but don't think he'd do that.

My friend said it was fine, maybe he could view the website traffic, but not what I type or personal things.

How can he view the traffic?

How can I do this?

How do I see if he did?

Anyway I am still using the wireless as normal, as it's too late by now, if he did he knows everything. :-(

But I doubt he can. Please assure me. My I.T. friend you'd have to be a crazy hacker to do that, it's very hard to do too much.

Please tell me as I'm an absolute dunce so don't confuse me. It was enough to learn about shared folders, networks.

When I googled this there were tales of housemates doing weird things... .  but that's with a packet sniffer... .  My gut says he wouldn't be bothered to go that far.

But if it were easy---yes he would.

I don't go to lengths to snoop (feel wracked with guilt) but if something falls on the ground or really obvious I will read it... .  so if I do that I bet if it was easy he would.

I think we are still similar in that way. So I know he most likely wouldn't use illegal software... .  but if he just had to type in a password then yes.

At least what I type is safe because of coding... .  but still knowing website history is a bit much. Please educate me.

I want to feel better... .  but if my paranoia is real I want to be aware for the last month or so he's here.

So I took my documents off the main computer, but feel he has copies of my stuff... .  how to feel better about this?

I also hope this makes other non-tech savvy people think about this!


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MontyD
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« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2013, 06:05:54 PM »

Hi Themis,

I'm over on the "Leaving board".

I'm a retired IT specialist and worked in the industry since the late 1960's.

I can assure you that NOTHING on your laptop is safe and private.

The tools to unlock the laptop are easily available on the net and would take me about 10 seconds to have access to everything on your computer.

If you are using  Windows, we boot from a Linux boot cd which contains the software to retrieve the passwords and bingo ! we're in.

The ONLY way around this is to have nothing on the computer you don't want anyone to see, or have the laptop under your arm at all times !

MontyD

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Themis
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« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2013, 01:52:42 AM »

Hi Monty,

Can you explain how this is possible? Put it in laymans terms what the person would do.

Also please tell me how to view traffic of the wireless and the internet as one of those is in my name I should be able to control it.

The latter is simple so please tell me how.

Also if the person was in the industry less time than you would they still know all this?

I'm more concerned about things NOT on my laptop such as emails.
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MontyD
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« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2013, 03:05:22 AM »

Hi Themis,

The way one can spy on computer systems is many and varied.  A quick Google search and you can find plenty of Pirate sites where you can get the info.  Sure, you have to have the technical abilities, just depends how smart you are.

I guess with the emails not on your laptop, you are talking about Hotmail or Gmail and other web based services.  If your ex has had access to you laptop, he could install a key logger and see everything you typed, including passwords. Once he has them, he can access your email accounts from anywhere on any computer.

To make you safe, sign into your email accounts from an internet cafe and change the passwords. Then only access your emails from a cafe.

Hope this helps.

Monty


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Themis
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« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2013, 08:00:31 AM »

 I appreciate your help. Doing the right thing (click to insert in post) He no longer has physical access for a long time. The laptop has a password, and I don't use that password for anything else.

We have shared it before but I doubt he put a keylogger then as we both used it at times. I know all about keyloggers. That could backfire on him, as the dodgy place you get them from could have something that reports home. Then his info would be sent to them as well.

I went into programs and there is nothing that looks dodgy. I have run virus scans too. Is there another way to detect a keylogger?

I thought of the cafe option but then even if I changed my password, I'd have to use it again at home, and I'm not travelling out at night just to use the internet.

I doubt he is crazy enough to do all that... .  but I do think he's crazy enough to do something simple like check the traffic running through the router or wireless.



Could you please tell me how to do that? It has nothing to do with illegal software. i know it's a simple step but forgotten what it is. But people that own their own internet should know how to do this.

I'd appreciate being less ignorant on such basic tasks. I am aware of all the stuff you can download, but more interested in what one can do without breaking laws.

He thinks like me in some ways and would most likely take the obvious step first before going all keylogging and wiresharking on me.

My hunch says he hasn't wiresharked etc but simply watched the traffic on the wireless or router as any user can do.

Business that offer wireless to customers can do this all the time. It is simple apparently.

That's what I am interested in.


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Themis
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« Reply #5 on: May 05, 2013, 08:03:37 AM »

just depends how smart you are.--him above average. Me--- not so smart, as you can see.

Gmail --It is meant to be encrypted... .  ?

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Themis
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« Reply #6 on: May 17, 2013, 05:36:33 AM »

I don't have the money right now for a new computer.

Can someone please just tell me how I can detect these things?
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