Since leaving my BPD and filing for divorce she replied by smearing me and succeeding, even able to convince my own attorney that I am a drug addict.
An inexpensive drug test by a company recognized and accepted by your county's family court could have shot down that claim long ago. Why did that never happen?
Result I have not seen my children on a regular basis since December. When I do see them it is on her terms and only 2 hours on every other Sunday. I am seeking a new attorney... .
Typical minimums where abuse and neglect are unsubstantiated are alternate weekends and an evening or overnight in between. Those are typical
minimums. Go to court and get at least the minimums typical in your area. I agree, it sounds like you need a new lawyer if 4-5 months later you're still stuck without an initial temporary custody and parenting time order.
In fact, you probably should also claim that she is obstructing your parenting and that she cannot share the children whereas you can share and therefore you should be in charge of parenting. Court may not listen since mothers often get default preference, but at least you get it
on the record that you want as much parenting and custodial responsibility as possible. It's important to show you care about your children and want to be deeply involved in their lives.)
What she is accomplishing so far is to create a new 'normal' where you see the children infrequently and at her discretion and whims. The problem with the passage of time under her arrangements is that courts are reluctant to change the current arrangements without good reason. They like to maintain the
status quo since they don't want to 'upset' the child with changes. You need to get an order ASAP before it is inclined to accept recent months as okay. (If you do have an order giving you more time with the children than she is allowing, then you need to have your lawyer file
Contempt of Court against her for her obstruction of the court's order. She does NOT have the right to unilaterally ignore a court order, not without risk of legal consequences.)
When you get a court order, even a temporary order for parenting time, then nothing is left to her discretion, the court will have decided the basic issues. (Of course she can still obstruct, make new complaints and even ignore compliance, but enforcing compliance with a court order is another matter, you're not there yet, you first have to get a court order for parenting time and almost always the court's order is far better than what the obstructing parent would ever agree to.)
Edit: I just noticed your comment about willing to do supervised visitation. What's that about. You were already seeing them alternate weekends. Why go to supervised? I really believe fast-tracking the initial temporary order would be the best thing to do - IMO. However, if you do agree to supervised, it must (1) be with others supervising, not her, (2) no admission of guilt of any sort, (3) only temporary until a family court judge can issue a parenting time order, (4) that agreeing to supervised visitation not be presented to the judge as basis for consideration nor negatively, that it is ONLY to establish regular extended visits until an order can be issued. Remember, she is aiming to make you look b-a-d. Better to wait another month or so to get the judge's order rather than start a history of looking questionable or even bad - IMO.
When is supervised parenting usually ordered? If a parent has demonstrated being substantively
abusive or substantively
neglectful toward the children. In other words, dangerous or a risk to the welfare of the children.
