Had a reasonably long chat with my BPD wife last night and successfully used some of the techniques suggested on this sites. My difficulty is that my wife said that she wants me to prove that I want our marriage to work and that I had to prove that I would fight for this. She wasn't sure what that meant but she basically wanted me to plead and beg her not to divorce me.
I refused and clearly said that I was willing to work with her, together but fo r my own self esteem and self respect I would not beg and plead and that whatever decision she chooses to make there would be very little that I could do about that if she felt determined that that is what she wants to do.
What do you think? Do you think that I am taking the right actions?
I had a similar talk with my wife yesterday. She didn't sound sure about what she really wanted either, it's hard to make sense of. But one thing was that she wanted me to state whether I was going to work on the r/s or not. It's kind of like a trap in that it puts it all on you, so I don't think it's a fair question.
The outcome was basically that we'd try to talk more often and bring things up immediately if we think the other is at fault. I don't really know how that will go, as she is very sensitive to critique.
