we got a situation. insight needed

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

hi guys and girls,

so my ex partner who suffers from BPD got back in contact with me last month after 15 months of breaking up with me. for 2 weeks we were in constant contact meeting up etc and having good times (no kissing) but lying down with each other, massages, her saying flirty comments... .

then poof all of a sudden the hot and cold treatment. answering back to my messages bluntly and not really maintaining a level of contact even though i was messaging nice things about how her days going etc. seen as it was a one way conversation most of the times i took a step back and didnt message her.

1 week goes by and randomly i get a "hope your okay" message. i replied 24 hours later not because i wanted to play games but because i was genuinely hurt and pi*sed off at being treated semi coldly.

i replied back saying "hey, how you doing? i thought you forgot about my existence for a second   "

to which she replies "you think you can message me back 24 hours later, you can fcuk off"


now i'm extremely baffled. she went hot and cold on me and seemed not interested so i gave her, her space. and now shes turned on me for not replying instantly even though i've been ignored for no reason whatsoever. and now its back to the cold shoulder treatment not getting back to my messages.

this message isn't about me moaning about whats going on. its mainly about me potentially getting an understanding as to the exs way of thinking. i know every person is different and acts differently but im hoping potentially from one of yourselves for an insight into how someone who suffers from BPD would perceive this scenario.

if i have said anything that might come across as abusive or rude i apologise in advance.

thanks for your time,

jeffrey

[jeffrey12]

hi guys and girls,

so my ex partner who suffers from BPD got back in contact with me last month after 15 months of breaking up with me. for 2 weeks we were in constant contact meeting up etc and having good times (no kissing) but lying down with each other, massages, her saying flirty comments... .

then poof all of a sudden the hot and cold treatment. answering back to my messages bluntly and not really maintaining a level of contact even though i was messaging nice things about how her days going etc. seen as it was a one way conversation most of the times i took a step back and didnt message her.

1 week goes by and randomly i get a "hope your okay" message. i replied 24 hours later not because i wanted to play games but because i was genuinely hurt and pi*sed off at being treated semi coldly.

i replied back saying "hey, how you doing? i thought you forgot about my existence for a second   "

to which she replies "you think you can message me back 24 hours later, you can fcuk off"


now i'm extremely baffled. she went hot and cold on me and seemed not interested so i gave her, her space. and now shes turned on me for not replying instantly even though i've been ignored for no reason whatsoever. and now its back to the cold shoulder treatment not getting back to my messages.

this message isn't about me moaning about whats going on. its mainly about me potentially getting an understanding as to the exs way of thinking. i know every person is different and acts differently but im hoping potentially from one of yourselves for an insight into how someone who suffers from BPD would perceive this scenario.

if i have said anything that might come across as abusive or rude i apologise in advance.

thanks for your time,

jeffrey

[Newton]

jeffrey12 ... . my take on it is this, she asked you to jump... . you didn't ask "how high huni?"... . she got majorly pissed off.

Remember... . this interaction wasn't really about you... . it was about what she needed, wanted in a particular moment.

Is this how you want to live your life?... .

[oletimefeelin]

Newton is on the money.

It's about control.