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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: My H has read my posts on here what should i do?  (Read 432 times)
awomanlearning

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« on: July 05, 2013, 04:08:36 PM »

I opened skype for the children today and there copied and pasted is one of my posts from here! in full view of my daughter that has excellent reading ablity for a 8 year old. Im not sure if she has read it but it talks about me asking my H for a divorce so what do i do start a whole new account on here or just sit in silence with my own madding thoughts running riot in my head. I find the the boards a great place to find answers to question only the experience of others sailing in the same boat as me know now i guess im going to have to sit on the side lines and read cant post anymore  :'( and find advice i can mull over till i come to a conclusion his cut me off from his family i dont want to talk to my own they got enough of their plates without me off loading on them guess next step is a psychologist at least i will be doing something for me that i need to do so i got to thank him for pushing me in the direction i need to go to find me again.
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motherof1yearold
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 645



« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2013, 06:13:58 PM »

Absolutely start a new account. On the boards everyone tries to be as anonymous as possible, certain details may be changed in posts. Ie Change 'brother' to 'sister' or 'aunt' etc.

Be careful. The boards are supposed to be a safe place for everyone, sorry that happened to you.
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ForeverDad
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18438


You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...


« Reply #2 on: July 05, 2013, 06:55:59 PM »

The New Members board and this Family Law board are both visible only to members.  If he's copied a post from one of these restricted boards, then either he's also a member here or he has compromised your computer.  Read our FAQ here listing a link to "Can I be found out?"  If he's found you through internet search engines that indexed posts on our less sensitive boards, then he was able to glean enough data from the posts to identify you. :'(

A moderator or board advisor from among those listed at the top of the page may be able to help you also.
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awomanlearning

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« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2013, 11:32:25 AM »

Thanks guys his very computer savie everytime i opened a email address he hacked it and closed it why is beyond me now i have one he could never find and the fact that his not in the home anymore makes my computer safe i did a scan never the less because who knows if he had spyware on here all this time but i will start a never profile after this cant take any chances this is the only place i have to go like i said i dont talk to anyone people just dont understand what im up against they just think his had an affair and left home they have no idea of the complex stuff that lays under that sweet face and that innocent smile friends and family just dont understand. Its come to a point where im not allowed to talk about him to my family or his because everyone just doesnt want to know so its just me, myself and i guess its easier that way just my actions not influenced by anyone elses input. On here i read and think for a while to see what action suits me and if its the way to go so will starting a new profile thanks for all the support guys it really helps to know i have advice from people in the same situation as myself just count my blessing you are all here with tons of advice.
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ForeverDad
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18438


You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...


« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2013, 03:10:33 PM »

Probably best to copy off important files and reformat the hard drive to be sure it's reasonably clean or even get a new computer if you have the finances to do so.  It has been said before, if a person has physical or electronic access to the computer or its router/network, then there is risk.  So if you ever let him come back or get unsupervised access to your computers or routers then your privacy could be compromised again.
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Waddams
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Living single, dating wonderful woman now
Posts: 1210



« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2013, 01:20:00 PM »

Many spyware programs can hide themselves from scans.  One thing you can do is reboot your computer in "safe mode", then do the scan.  This makes it a lot harder for the spyware to hide itself.  Google "safe mode reboot" to see how to do it.  After you do it, rescan.  Once that is done, you can switch back to a normal mode of operation instead of safe booting.

Be sure to update your anti-malware libraries before scanning.  And sometimes it finds something but can't remove it.  There are some malwares that require special software to remove.  Again, when i've found these, I've always been able to find free download specialized utility to remove them by googling the name of the malware found, but again, stay in safe boot mode until it's removed.  Sometimes, the malware will prevent you from downloading the software needed to remove it. 

Safe boot mode basically allows your machine to boot up in a very basic matter that prevents other operations from starting up, including malware.  That's why it is good to scan in safe boot mode.

Hope that makes sense!
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awomanlearning

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« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2013, 10:16:54 AM »

Thank you everyone for being here for me his read everything on here and i really dont mind if he wants to know how i feel well heres the best place for him to find out. His at a point of no return his made his mind up to remain with his female so i just have to accept that. Accept the things you can not change and change the things you can... . i will change the things i can.
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