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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Is your BPD attracted to watching conflict and arguments on TV?  (Read 496 times)
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« on: July 11, 2013, 03:39:38 AM »

Just out of interest... .

My BPDbf loves watching tv programs with elements of conflict in it. Things like Jeremy Kyle, heated political debates, war reporting, people arguing etc. Also conspiracy theorists attract him a great deal.

I wondered if this is something that others have seen. I know that personal taste comes into it and not just BPD but he seems to especially turn to these things when he needs to self soothe too.

Watching the conflict seems to calm him down (not sure if it works but he uses it like that) For me that's the last thing that would calm me down - I would watch a relaxing nature program!

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« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2013, 03:51:14 AM »

My partner hates it as she cant separate acting, or sensationalism from reality. if some acts like they hate something or someone, that hate is absolute and permanent.

In fact watching TV, even the ads, can be extremely difficult, everything is too real.

I am sure though for some it "normalizes" conflict so that they are not the only only ones living in conflict.
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« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2013, 03:59:41 AM »

Thanks for the reply Waverider - I have been meaning to ask this question for a while. I remember someone saying on the boards once their partner liked to hear their neighbours arguing.

So your wife is the complete opposite... . mmmm... .
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« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2013, 05:22:43 AM »

My wife does watch ,to me, alot of police shows, criminal minds etc I survived etc

She also reads that type of book

When in DPT her T asked her to cut back on them & she did for a while
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« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2013, 05:38:39 AM »

Thanks for the reply Waverider - I have been meaning to ask this question for a while. I remember someone saying on the boards once their partner liked to hear their neighbours arguing.

So your wife is the complete opposite... . mmmm... .

My partner does fall in the low functioning category though, she can't read novels etc for the same reason, takes it all too personally.

If she's out and about and there's a conflict happening, say in the street or shops, she will also be compelled to to jump in, usually escalating everything... .

She will take about the neighbours arguing, though in reality it is only a trifle compared to what she has done herself
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« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2013, 05:40:38 AM »

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My wife isn't into war or political debates like that but the TV shows she seems to be drawn to do have a lot of conflict. Criminal Minds, Law & Order SVU, and almost anything on the BIO and ID networks that involve cheating and killing and all that conflict. The other show she used to watch a lot that I can't stand is on Oxygen... . Bad Girls Club. All that was drama and conflict and swearing.  Its probabbly the trashiest show I have ever seen. Another weird one she travels to from time to time is Toddlers and Tiaras... . which becasue she always complains of loud noisey kids and their parents... . She hates seeing and hearing it for real yet will watch it and complain about it.
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« Reply #6 on: July 11, 2013, 11:20:11 AM »

Well my bf also likes to try to resolve conflict situations he sees outside the home too - he will be the one to try to break things up if he sees a "situation" when we are out. He attempted this once and I asked him not to intervene and he was annoyed that I asked him not to step in. Am trying to make sense of some behaviours as I have seen people on the boards say that conflict can sometimes "soothe" them. I wondered if it is specific to their own conflict or anyone's.
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« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2013, 02:03:04 PM »

My partner hates it as she cant separate acting, or sensationalism from reality. if some acts like they hate something or someone, that hate is absolute and permanent.

In fact watching TV, even the ads, can be extremely difficult, everything is too real.

I am sure though for some it "normalizes" conflict so that they are not the only only ones living in conflict.

PDw has this issue also... . the inability to seperate acting from reality, fact from fiction.  Is this a part of the feelings equal fact fact of the PD?  I feel it therefore it's real?
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« Reply #8 on: July 11, 2013, 04:46:32 PM »

Yep, mine loves those true crime shows full of cheating and murder... . I think ":)ateline NBC" is one of them.  Also, she often watches conspiracy theory documentaries on Netflix all night long while having a bout of insomnia (she was awake all night last night and I have no idea what she was watching).
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