Sent her an email that I cannot have any contact from her

[Jadam12]

Last night I sent her an email that I cannot have any contact from her right now.  I told her I didn't want to be the chump who remains friends while you are out dating other men. 

She keeps emailing that she wants to still be friends, but can't process our relationship right now, which means she wont be wanting to take any responsibility for the crap she unloaded on me over the years even though I proclaimed the parts I played in our dysfunctional relationship. Even when I'd bring up things in couples therapy that she was doing to hurt me she would deflect by busting out into tears saying "I can't do this anymore. You hurt me so much.  I'll never trust you again."

When I sent the email it seemed so right, but all day today at work I was second guessing myself and feel sad. Thankfully I be getting on my bicycle and meeting a whole bunch of friends for our Thursday Night Cruiser Ride. 

Still, there is this part of me that wants to go back "home" (the house we lived together for 7 years with our dog and curl up on the couch and watch a movie). Of course she'll be having a few drinks to wind down  (her drinks are usually a pint glass half vodka, half diet soda) and won't be easy to communicate with.  After about 3 drinks she pops a Valium and is off to bed by 7:30-8:00 listening to her spiritual guidance and meditation tapes.

I miss that so much?  Crazy.

[simplyasiam]

i know how youfeel and it hard. i miss my ex and her kids alot really wish and pray that we can some how get past this

how long have to been apart from her?