I DID IT I DID IT FINALLY

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I finally got my divorce papers in the mail today. FINALLY!

What truly looked like an inescapable trap finally unraveled.

exH (dx bipolar 1 mixed, w/psychotic features [paranoid delusions], ASPD, and NPD) only pulled off one incredible scene during the whole thing. We filed for divorce March 20th, and having no kids, signed the "non-appearance affidavit". 10 days later, exH was in a paranoid manic episode and called the cops on me to have them tell me he didn't want to pay me for my property (I moved out) and didn't have to since I moved, (thought that made it his for free) and that I couldn't come over there anymore (even though my business was still located there). That didn't work out quite like he planned. So I laid down the law to him (he's too paranoid to hire a lawyer) and wrote up an agreement between us--that he would begin making payments on the property by June or he would have 60 days before eviction proceedings began. He would pay off the entire balance of the property as soon as his inheritance (from his fathers death) comes in (October) before I would transfer the property into his name. He would refrain from referring to himself as a "partner" in my business and would become an employee or find another job. And he would not have claim to anything I purchased after the signing date of agreement, through divorce proceedings.

We both signed this in front of a notary and filed it as an addendum to the divorce. The addendum and the non-appearance affidavit were both accepted by the judge, and today I got the papers in the mail, declaring me divorced from his craziness AND our agreement being legally binding!

In May, I bought a beautiful home--owner finance. exH had already signed saying he wasn't entitled to anything I bought after our split/before the divorce, and now that we are divorced, he is definitely not entitled. Not that he's tried to become entitled. He's happy where's he's at, on my primitive mostly unimproved property that he basically usurped (and he's been making his payments in a timely manner even though at first he totally resisted), and I'm even happier in a fabulous home I never dreamed of living in. He has settled into his role of employee at my business, and that seems to be working out OK to.

I keep pinching myself to make sure I'm really awake, not dreaming, and all this is actually real. And all this only cost me a measly $75 in attorney consultations!

WOO-HOO!

[doubleAries]

I finally got my divorce papers in the mail today. FINALLY!

What truly looked like an inescapable trap finally unraveled.

exH (dx bipolar 1 mixed, w/psychotic features [paranoid delusions], ASPD, and NPD) only pulled off one incredible scene during the whole thing. We filed for divorce March 20th, and having no kids, signed the "non-appearance affidavit". 10 days later, exH was in a paranoid manic episode and called the cops on me to have them tell me he didn't want to pay me for my property (I moved out) and didn't have to since I moved, (thought that made it his for free) and that I couldn't come over there anymore (even though my business was still located there). That didn't work out quite like he planned. So I laid down the law to him (he's too paranoid to hire a lawyer) and wrote up an agreement between us--that he would begin making payments on the property by June or he would have 60 days before eviction proceedings began. He would pay off the entire balance of the property as soon as his inheritance (from his fathers death) comes in (October) before I would transfer the property into his name. He would refrain from referring to himself as a "partner" in my business and would become an employee or find another job. And he would not have claim to anything I purchased after the signing date of agreement, through divorce proceedings.

We both signed this in front of a notary and filed it as an addendum to the divorce. The addendum and the non-appearance affidavit were both accepted by the judge, and today I got the papers in the mail, declaring me divorced from his craziness AND our agreement being legally binding!

In May, I bought a beautiful home--owner finance. exH had already signed saying he wasn't entitled to anything I bought after our split/before the divorce, and now that we are divorced, he is definitely not entitled. Not that he's tried to become entitled. He's happy where's he's at, on my primitive mostly unimproved property that he basically usurped (and he's been making his payments in a timely manner even though at first he totally resisted), and I'm even happier in a fabulous home I never dreamed of living in. He has settled into his role of employee at my business, and that seems to be working out OK to.

I keep pinching myself to make sure I'm really awake, not dreaming, and all this is actually real. And all this only cost me a measly $75 in attorney consultations!

WOO-HOO!

[motherof1yearold]

Yay!

Soo happy to read this!

I'm glad you're in an awesome home now Good things come when you least expect it!

[Juliecelle]

Is it possible to be happy for you yet jealous at the same time? If so, i am both  

Good for you!

You have earned every bit of the happiness and relief you feel.

Let the healing begin!

[Surnia]

So great, DA! 

I can so relate with your feelings. What a relief!

[catnap]

Wonderful news!  So happy for you. 

[doubleAries]

Once I got past the idea that he would move out (not a chance), and the other idea that I had to discuss things with him so we could come to adult, amicable solutions (uh--he's paranoid delusional bipolar!), things really started rolling along.

I can't believe the anguish I was in only several months ago, believing I was utterly trapped with no escape. I see now how most of that trap was of my own making--locked into ideas that didn't apply to the actual situation.

The past few months have been the most liberating of my life. eye opening. Hang in there everybody--it really is possible!