Kids getting ticks from PD parent?

[hell0kitty]

I know this sounds weird, but BPD mom has a lot of weird ticks.  She does this weird throat clearing sound a LOT, but especially when she is concentrating, and when she is stressed, she has a facial tick where her mouth twitches into an almost smile over and over again and her eyes squeeze shut.  It gets really bad in court, but I've seen it in family videos too when she is relaxed.  My BF said she has always had them since he has known her but they get worse when she is having a down cycle.

Anyhow, lately, I've noticed when child 7 is watching TV or doing homework, or the WORST was at the movies last week, she will make this weird little noise over and over similar to her mom's throat clearing sound.  Hers is more like ahe is making that Frankenstein groan "Mmm" but quiet and low. 

Hereditary? Could this be an indication that she maybe has one of mom's disorders? Is this a learned behavior from being around mom, or is it a side effect of the stress from mom raging?  Or all of the above?  Anyone else experience this?

We really want her to see a child psychiatrist, but mom will only agree for her to see a DV counselor to further her agenda of false accusations.

[charred]

A lot of repetitive behavior is self soothing... . after a while people automate doing it and it quits being something they think about. Stress brings on self soothing reactions, so that is what I would think it is with the mother. Kids ... . can be same thing, or sometimes they just make weird noise and want to sound like Frankenstein... . you can ask them.

[hell0kitty]

No, it is the only way I could describe it.  She has no idea she is doing it, because I've asked her to stop before I realized it was a tick.  It was at the movie theater when the seat neighbors mentioned it. It is really distracting once you notice it. She has just already showed signs of her mother's crazy temper when she doesn't get what she wants, I worry that in a few years we are going to be living with a small version of BPDmom if we don't act fast. The tantrums are more of a much younger child and she gets SO mad her eyes go black with rage.  I've never seen a kid do the rage look before I met her. Only adults.

[mamachelle]

hell0kitty,

Depends on many factors but I would talk to pediatrician before psychiatrist.

I think your pediatrician could answer your questions and/or refer you guys to a Pediatric Neuropsych or Neurologist for testing. Could be  but at this point they are part of her neuro patterns. Might be nice to see if you could treat without meds. Sometimes parents use meds for tourettes and tics.

Some psychologists work with tics but I don't know if "counselors" have enough training.

I love this book and recommend it to any parent dealing with kiddie rages and other sorts of emotion dysreg. It's so zen and makes so much sense and has better advice than most T's have for dealing with this.

Parenting a Child Who Has Intense Emotions: Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Skills to Help Your Child Regulate Emotional Outbursts and Aggressive Behaviors - Pat Harvey, ACSW, LCSW-C, and Jeanine Penzo, LICSW

mamachelle

[hell0kitty]

Thanks so much! I LOVE book referrals! I have learned so much from the walking on eggshells and the divorce poison books so far!  I will order this one today!

[Thunderstruck]

I'm kind of getting the feeling that kids are parrots at this age. They repeat what they hear. My SO's D8 sounds like a mini version of her uBPDmom when she gets upset. The rage and nastiness that comes out of that usually sweet girls mouth... . I can't help but think it's because she's mimicking mom. "Thunderstruck thinks she's SO awesome". Things like that. So maybe it's  .

[EmbersRising]

Im new and was going to do an intro post but I saw this and felt like I had to share this; The tics you're describing are textbook Tourette Syndrome tics. I say this as the wife of a person with TS and the mother of two sons who also have it (along with OCD, anxiety, sensory issues, auditory processkng issues, ADHD and learning disabilities, all of which are very common with TS)

Those tics are pretty classic and a lot of the symptomology goes along with the disorder itself and the comorbid conditions. It's also an inherited syndrome in almost all cases.

I would really highly suggest you talk to a pediatrician and have them refer you to a neurologist. As soon as we got a diagnosis and started reacting properly (that is not acting as though they had any control over the symptoms because they really don't) things improved anthousand fold.

If you Google Tourette Syndrome those tics will come up. The National Tourette Syndrome Association is also a very good resource.

Good luck!