Really need to get this out, need advice and prayers - horrible situation

[BioAdoptMom3]

I should have known things were too good to be true!  DD14 went to her Marc Mero interview on Friday and did amazing!  My DH and I can't wait to go to a school or church and see the first video presention in the new school year!  However on Thursday night we got a call from DD's youth pastor.  She had sent his wife a text telling her that she was raped by a friend's father on Tuesday, her birthday, while she was at their home.  Though we are not close friends, we know them. She told me dad was at the corner ice cream store and was willing to take her back to hang with the boys and they had a little cake for her.  I know I should NEVER do it, but I assumed the friend was with his dad and let her go.  According to DD they were still asleep (possible since it was about 9 AM) when they got there.  We have involved the police, taken her to be checked and interviewed at a local children's advocacy center and Friday afternoon she was interviewed by DCF.  The woman has 10 years experience and seems to be "on her game".  She told us her professional opinion is that DD was in a flirting situation with the dad for months and he finally acted on it when he had the opportunity.  She didn't fight back.  Still we are told at 14 he is responsible no matter what, however all kinds of things are going through my mind.  We are sick about DD being abused!  It upsets us that she felt the need to flirt with a grown man and what if he didn't do it and she's lying?  We don't have all the results and info yet but we are beside ourselves!  If you can offer any prayers and/or have any suggestions we would sure appreciate them!  Thanks! 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[jellibeans]

oh bio... . how sad... . my heart aches for you and especially for your dd. What has happened to the father of the friend? I know I can't always believe what my dd says but when rape is involved I think an investigation is needed. You need to support her until proven differently. I don't know how to do that but does she have a therapist? Is there some kind of rape counseling in your area?

I am afraid I am a bit blinded by hate for this man... . how he could do such a thing to your dd14 on her birthday. I really want to know what the police are doing... . he should be in jail or at least brought in for questioning.

I am so sorry for your family... . truly sickens me that he would take advantage of the situation like this.   

[mamachelle]

I'm so so sorry to hear this. I'm sure the truth will come out. Regardless your DD is hurting. This makes me soo angry and sad and sick.  Please keep posting and let us know.  mamachelle

[Rapt Reader]

I'm so sorry BioAdoptMom3... . Just when things were starting to look up so much for your daughter   

Please know that you are both in my prayers... .

   Rapt Reader

[pessim-optimist]

What a terrible situation either way!         

Let us know what happens   

[twojaybirds]

Oh dear.  I am so sad for this situation for everyone.

No one will win in the end regardless of what is true.

I can only suggest to let the police investigate and validate your dd feelings. 

 

[qcarolr]

What terrible thing to have to cope with for your DD. Flirting is not the same as consensual sex, esp. with someone as young as your D. The man is the adult here -- he is accountable for this abuse of an adolescent searching for attention and affection. Hope you can give your D the benefit of the doubt as the investigation unfolds.

qcr  

[lbjnltx]

So very very sad to hear this BioAdoptMom3.

Sad for both families and especially for your d14.

Since she first reached out to her youth pastor please keep them close to her for spiritual counseling and support.

Praying for you all.


lbjnltx