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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Men, can you help me out here?  (Read 1353 times)
Clearmind
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 5537



« Reply #30 on: August 06, 2013, 06:58:47 PM »

Hi Saffron,

We don’t draw the line in the sand because these relationships are enmeshed. We mirror one another and it feels good until the curtain falls and reality sets in. By that stage we no longer know who we are because we have spent way too much time fixing.

Saffron, can you begin to do things for you? You have isolated yourself - this causes depression and blind sightedness.

We have a legal board where you can post questions about separation etc. You are thinking way ahead of yourself right now – you are fearful.

Look at the facts and his behaviour and how it affects you and the kids. Step back a bit and see the reality and see how much you can accept.

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