Completed My Psych Eval

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I did the interview on Tuesday and took the objective tests yesterday. The three tests I took were CAP Inventory Form VI, MMPI-II, and MCMI-III. The CAP is a Child Abuse Potential test. The MMPI is a psych profile test. The MCMI is a personality test.

The interview went fine, I was open and honest. The psychologist (PHD from Yale) had a resident that he wanted to sit in on the interview and I think he was a little put off that I did not want her to sit in on the interview, but at the end he said that after talking to me he understood why.

I am a little concerned about the tests. I am worried that the CAP may show I was trying to make myself look better than I am. I see my kids as individual people that deserve the same respect as adults. I answered all the questions in a way that reflects this philosophy. My concern is that the test will show I was trying to be deceitful by answering the questions about children in the most favorable way.

There are two things that concern me about the MMPI. The first being that in the past I have struggled with depression. At this time I do not feel like I am depressed. We discussed my past depression in the interview. As I was taking the test I was trying to pick out the questions that would indicate I am still depressed and made sure to answer them in a way that would give me a favorable result. I do not want to have pills pushed on me. I tried anti depressants in the past and they made things worse. The second thing that concerns me is that I am an anarchist. There were a number of questions about authority and government. I answered the questions honestly and am worried that it will show I am a criminal or something else negative.

I am not worried about the MCMI.

[papawapa]

I did the interview on Tuesday and took the objective tests yesterday. The three tests I took were CAP Inventory Form VI, MMPI-II, and MCMI-III. The CAP is a Child Abuse Potential test. The MMPI is a psych profile test. The MCMI is a personality test.

The interview went fine, I was open and honest. The psychologist (PHD from Yale) had a resident that he wanted to sit in on the interview and I think he was a little put off that I did not want her to sit in on the interview, but at the end he said that after talking to me he understood why.

I am a little concerned about the tests. I am worried that the CAP may show I was trying to make myself look better than I am. I see my kids as individual people that deserve the same respect as adults. I answered all the questions in a way that reflects this philosophy. My concern is that the test will show I was trying to be deceitful by answering the questions about children in the most favorable way.

There are two things that concern me about the MMPI. The first being that in the past I have struggled with depression. At this time I do not feel like I am depressed. We discussed my past depression in the interview. As I was taking the test I was trying to pick out the questions that would indicate I am still depressed and made sure to answer them in a way that would give me a favorable result. I do not want to have pills pushed on me. I tried anti depressants in the past and they made things worse. The second thing that concerns me is that I am an anarchist. There were a number of questions about authority and government. I answered the questions honestly and am worried that it will show I am a criminal or something else negative.

I am not worried about the MCMI.

[livednlearned]

I wouldn't worry about it, honestly. A lot of parents are depressed when they go through divorce, and you won't be the first to present as depressed in a custody evaluation. What judges want to see (and why you can't target mental illness alone) is a desire to get treatment and help, if you have problems. I think Matt (who posts here on bpdfamily.com) was also dx'd depressed on his MMPI-II. Maybe he'll chime in.

My ex is bipolar, and my L said she doesn't like to try cases based on mental illness for that reason. Who knows if the judge suffers from depression? Or bipolar? It isn't about the mental illness, it's about whether you are motivated to get better.

Don't know about the authority questions, but I don't you will be diagnosed as a criminal    I think those questions are more about oppositional defiance disorder. And if you interact with people as reasonably as it sounds like you do, then that dx will be downgraded in the eyes of anyone evaluating you.

My son did a 500 question test that dx'd him as ODD, and no one paid any attention because he is an agreeable kid.

[iluminati]

I was advised that the key to dealing with mental illness is not to focus on the illness per se, but on how her compliance with treatment (or lack thereof) effects the children.  Just as someone with a physical disease who is noncompliant with treatment can keep their children, someone who is noncompliant with mental health can keep their children.  Do you have documentation of her diagnosis and her lack of treatment?

[ForeverDad]

I had a psych eval administered by a grad student and it came back listing anxiety.  Then-spouse was ordered to take one too, but I never heard whether she ever took it.

Later, after I filed for divorce, we had a custody evaluation and I took a few tests, I don't remember which ones, but probably MMPI2 was one of them.  His overall comments included that I was very concerned about details, trying to disprove every detail of ex's false statements.  Comments about my then-stbEx were that she had tangental thinking, etc, and most of all she couldn't share 'her' child while I could.

When the judge and lawyers discussed the report which included CE's recommendation that then-stbEx immediately lose temp custody, they ignored it and just proceeded on to the next step, a settlement conference with us and the lawyers.  It ended after about 5-10 minutes when ex said if I tried to get custody she'd claw out my eyes.  Well, a little more than stating it, she lunged over the table and so my lawyer immediately ushered me out.

As everyone comments, the thinking/cognition is significant, but the behaviors with the kids and the impact on them are even more important.

[papawapa]

If they are only going to go on how she is with the kids I will have a hard time keeping full custody unless she fails to follow through with the recommendations from her drug/alcohol assessment or the psych eval. For the most part she is great with the kids and as she is good at putting on a front she may be able to fool the GaL. To this point she has had difficulties following the order. She did not do her D/A assessment within 7 days as ordered, she did not make her appointment for the psych eval within 7 days as ordered, and she has not yet made an appointment with the therapist the GaL referred her to.

I don't have a problem with her having parenting time if she ends her current relationship, she ran off with her daughter's BF, and gets sober and into therapy for herself. He is a felon convicted of a violent crime. He has no job. He is also extremely controlling and exhibited stalker behavior when he was dating my step-daughter. He will not let my ex go anywhere without him except to work. He keeps her on the phone with him from the time she leaves for work in the morning until she goes into work, for the whole time she is on her three breaks, and from when she leaves work until she gets home. The two of them are habitual pot smokers and they have been drinking frequently and arguing a lot when drunk. Neither trusts the other and they both accuse each other of cheating. My main concern is that based n her history of violent domestic conflicts with me and his history of violent crime that it is only a matter of time until he puts his hands on her. I am fairly confident that she will not get anything more than supervised visitation as long as she stays with him, but when I asked the GaL about it she did not answer and was evasive.

I have offered to pay for her to get into her own place and help pay her rent. I have also offered to buy her insurance and pay out of pocket expenses such as the deductible to get into treatment and any out of pocket costs for therapy. But for whatever reason she won't leave him. I want my kids to have their mother in their lives but it looks like she is going to end up screwing it up.

[papawapa]

Another thing... .

When I took my D/A assessment I was recommended for outpatient treatment and to start random drug tests. I too was a habitual weed smoker but have been sober since the first day we had court. I took a new job that I started today and it requires extensive travel. I leave for three weeks at a time and will be home for one week. The new job makes it impossible for me to comply with either recommendation. I can't attend 17 weeks of outpatient treatment and I have told the GaL that I will take drug tests when I am in town. My first UA was dirty but will have five clean tests by the time we return to court in November. I really do not believe I need to go to treatment as I have completed outpatient 28 day programs twice when I was younger. How much of a problem is it likely to be if I do not do the treatment but can establish through bank records, receipts, and affidavits that I have maintained sobriety?

[sanemom]

Is there some way you can at least do the random drug tests?  I know over here, the judges are sticklers about drug use, but it probably depends on where you live.

[papawapa]

I can't do randoms but I can take tests when I am in town. As long as I make sure they are less than a month apart it should establish that I have not been using.

[Matt]

A few thoughts... .

As LnL says, my wife and I took the MMPI-2, and at the time I had been in counseling for a couple years, mostly because I was very depressed.  It was "situational depression" - that is, it was because of stuff that happened - my parents' deaths, my marriage imploding, and my son going to prison, all in a short time - not long-term depression due to psychological issues.

But the MMPI-2 didn't show a problem with depression, maybe because I had been in counseling and had been following my counselor's recommendations.  It showed a higher-than-average risk for substance abuse, or addiction.  At that time, I wasn't drinking at all, and I had never been much of a drug user.  So I asked the psychologist who administered the MMPI-2, and wrote the report, what I should do.  He said, "Well it's only my job to do the Custody Evaluation, not to treat you, but my suggestion would be that you keep doing what you're doing - stay in counseling, stay sober, keep doing what's working for you."  And that's what I did.

In contrast, my wife was diagnosed with "multiple psychological disorders", and the psychologist recommended psychotherapy, but she denied the diagnosis - which was based on the MMPI-2 results - and refused therapy, even though it wouldn't cost her anything.  Her MMPI-2 also showed that she "presented falsely" - that is, lied on the test.

So this whole issue worked in my favor - not because I was in perfect health, but because I was open and honest about everything, and I accepted the test results, even though they kind of caught me by surprise, and I was doing what I could to deal with my issues.  And my wife was the opposite - dishonest on the test, and not accepting the results, and not following through with the recommended treatment.

So for you, I think there are a few key points related to this testing.  One is, the MMPI-2 results may show that you didn't answer all the items honestly - you tried to make yourself look better, which is exactly what my wife did.  If that happens, own up to it - say, "Gee, I was nervous, and on those items I put what I thought would be best.  That was a mistake - I wish I hadn't done that."  The MMPI-2 can see through these deceptions and give good results anyway.  As to the other stuff, I don't know what it will say about your political views, but try your best to understand the results, and look for the right path forward for yourself - ask things like, "Well what should I do about that?" or "So what would you recommend?", and accept each suggestion from the professionals involved with appreciation - it's an opportunity to learn about yourself and take steps forward, and those forward steps will make you look good.

As for the drug stuff, I'm not an addict myself, but my adult son is - now 4 1/2 years clean and sober after more than 15 years on meth, alcohol, and everything else.  I think your openness and honesty about your issues are a great start, and it sounds like you've already been clean for a while - not clear to me exactly how long but at least right now you're doing well, and congratulations for that.

At the same time, I'm skeptical - and I'm no expert on this, but my son was in rehab twice, six months each, and I learned a lot from the staff there - I'm a little skeptical that your 28-day outpatient program - "twice when I was younger" - is adequate.  First, if it's been a while since you got this kind of help, and in the meantime you've used for a while, it could be better to get back into some program now.  And also I'm not sure that any 28-day program can be very effective - it's long enough to clean up, but not long enough (in my layman's understanding) to get to the underlying issues which drive addiction.  I think that will take either a longer D/A program - ideally inpatient - or maybe some really good therapy with a professional who is experienced in addiction and recovery.  My suggestion would be, up your game a little - look for more and better and longer-term resources to help you get stronger and stronger - it's a marathon not a sprint.  And maybe NA or AA - they're pretty much the same - both free and pretty available - a good way to supplement the professional help and strengthen your recovery.

My son benefitted both from a six-month residential program, and NA, but still struggled for a few years.  I'm convinced that it was the deeper work in rehab, with staff members who were in recovery themselves, that gave him the strength and knowledge to stay clean as long as he has.  But it's been very hard for him - nobody can make it easy.  In your case, there's a lot at stake, so I hope you'll give yourself every advantage you can, so you can build on the success you already have.

One more thought:  "How much of a problem is it likely to be if I do not do the treatment but can establish through bank records, receipts, and affidavits that I have maintained sobriety?" - I don't know the answer - probably depends on the judge.

But I will say that judges, and everybody else who deals with addicts - including and especially recovering addicts themselves - sees a whole lot of dishonesty and deception and manipulation.  My son would be the first to say that he was dishonest, and tricky, and manipulative, as long as he was using, and for a while afterward - like a lot of addicts, he was very skilled at getting what he wanted, and sometimes without "lying", but just saying exactly the right thing, without caring if it was really the whole truth or not.  So when you tell the court, "I didn't comply with the testing requirement, but it wasn't my fault - it was because of my job." - even if that's 100% true, it may not be believed, because the judge may have heard a whole lot of clever stories from others with substance histories.  He's likely to think, "Here's one more substance user with a nice-sounding story.", and assume the worst, rather than giving you the benefit of the doubt.

So if it's really essential to take this job, I would strongly suggest that you find a way to comply as nearly as possible with the court's requirement.  Maybe there is testing available in that town, and you can be tested on your lunch hour;  or maybe you can drive back to this town whenever they call you for random testing;  or maybe you can consult with an attorney and figure out some way to explain it to the court and ask for another plan you can comply with.  Look at it from the judge's point of view, and try to show that you are doing your very best to comply with the intent of the order.  Assume that you will be assumed to be dishonest - one recovering addict I know said, "All addicts lie." and that may be how the judge looks at you.  Try to find a way to show your intent to comply with the order even if you can't comply with it exactly as it was written.

Hope this helps!

[papawapa]

Thanks for the input Matt.

I will call the person I did my D/A assessment and ask to have the recommendation changed to inpatient. I am willing to go to treatment, but outpatient is not an option. I have been clean and sober since June 22nd. If I had not taken the new job I would have started the outpatient program before I return to court in November. I am just concerned that it will look bad when I return to court and have not done the treatment. My insurance coverage will start after the court date and if I can get the recommendation changed I will go to treatment then. If they won't change the recommendation I will go take another assessment and lie and say I have been drinking every night if that's what it takes.

I will most likely be traveling to major metropolitan areas for my job and I can probably find places to do the random tests there. So I will call and set up the random testing.

My ex says she is going to follow through on whatever the court orders, but she can't be trusted to follow through. I am confident that she will be diagnosed and ordered to some kind of therapy. All I can do is wait and see how it all plays out. Like you said it is a marathon.

[paxfamilia]

If I remember correctly, the CAPI does not have the same validity tests built into it like the MMPI does.  If it does, you should do fine on it anyone, it should be valid, because most of the validity questions are things that everyone would answer the same way if they were telling the truth.  As far as the CAPI, if you see kids as having rights like adults, you should score extremely low, which is indicative of being a calm good parent, not prone to abuse.  However, depression is one of the components, but if you identified the depression parts and answered in a way that negated depression, you will have aced that test.  My ex had a big time elevated score on his CAPI, was committing child abuse during the custody evaluation (in 2006-07), and the f"ing evaluator did not get the red flags all over the place.    My CAPI was a 32, his was a 149.  The evaluator noted that the signal score concern was 166.  So someone who has committed domestic battery to me on 4 occasions, has broken the resulting RO several times, and was 'near-drowning" and 'near suffocating" the 9 year old at the time... . and this moronic immoral idiot custody evaluator decided that he was an adequate parent. 

Ex was given MCMI (I was not since I was telling CE that ex was sociopath and BPD) and he found him only to have OCD and avoidant personality.  Yeah, right. Stalking and batterers are really avoidant... . not.

I passed the MMPI, despite having pretty bad PTSD and depression (although at the time I think it was shear anger, not depression).    Ex scored clinically significant score on 6 of the 8 scales of the MMPI, bu the CE only diagnosed the above, even though he had a huge huge elevation in scale 3 (79) which indicates histrionic (the cluster B group, hide their real selves from public, hell on wheels to domestic), but CE stated this could be interpreted as depression.   Perhaps the CE is a scale 3 elevated individual cuz he not seeing reality.  HIs scale 6 (schizophrenia, paranoia) was also grossly elevated (72) but CE said it didn't imply any paranoia just because scale 3 was higher, so scale 6 doesn't count.  (curse words).  I could go on and on.  Any other psychologist reading those scores and hearing the history would say... . omg.  psychopath to the max. 

So I wouldn't be concerned with your scores, but hope to god that the person interprets her scores correctly and evaluates them in the context that they should be... . with behaviors.

[papawapa]

Thank you paxfamilia. I am relieved about the CAPI. I answered all the questions as if kids have the same rights as adults. That was my main concern on that test.

Hopefully this Dr will be able to correctly diagnose. He has his PHD from Yale... .